Bao's weblog


Meandering thoughts of a Bay Area college student… be prepared for some bipolar vocabulary

Protected: Review

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Filed under: General

Protected: My flaw…

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Filed under: General

Huge ass writer’s block

I have an essay I want to get a head start on but I have no clue what to say. So I went to my blog to warm up and gain some momentum… and I still don’t know what to say. About… anything. I guess I could work on part 2 of My Ninja, but that would take forever.

It’s alright though because deep in my laptop’s memory banks are contingency plans for events like this. Intentionally unlabeled and unorganized .txt files, I can just click on a random file that will give me a prompt that I can just write and write about.

“Do you love yourself?”

Oh dear God… let’s try that again.

“What is the biggest lie you tell yourself?” Okay. I don’t remember the last time I’ve ever lied to myself. Really. Ever since I’ve started this blog, it’s been my unbreakable policy to be as brutally honest as possible with myself, no frosting or sugar on the top. Side effects may include anything from the occasional low self esteem to the resultant change for the better.

One more time…

“Who would you like to forgive and forget?”

I’d have to make this post private if I began talking about that. Okay that doesn’t count.

“What type of person angers you the most?” People with no consideration for anyone else’s feelings. You could be a hypocrite, a complete ass, and critical of everyone around you… but as long as you really care and express it once in awhile, you’re fine in my book. Hmm, this actually explains a lot about the people I choose to hang out with =P

Essay time.

Filed under: General

Cheapest lunch ever

A loooooooong baguette, plus some cheese, olive oil, or butter from home will cost no more than $4.oo. It’s really filling and satisfying and I feel hella European! Plus it’s such an amazingly simple meal. You could totally put all of that in a picnic basket and drive to a park. Maybe grab a textbook. Some pencil and paper. Maybe do some calculus. That’d at least be less distracting than at the library where people don’t understand the simple concept of “Shh!”

When it stops raining, I’m going to do just that. And on that note, better enjoy the rain while it lasts. They come so few in between.

As a friend once put it,”<movie announcer voice> Bao’s got a date…….WITH DESTINY. </movie announcer voice>”

Who the fuck is destiny? I hope she’s hot.

Filed under: General

I have hella homework that I expect to be awake past 2.

“Stop and stare. I think I’m moving but I go nowhere…” -One Republic

Oh dear God, never in all of my posts have I ever thought I’d do something as cliche as starting off a post with a song lyric (No offense intended to anybody that might do that). But the more I stare back into the week, the more appropriate those lyrics seem. My life increasingly feels tied down. My little figurative yet bulletproof bubble of tranquility is starting to spring leaks. I’m no longer happy, energetic, or… what’s that word? I haven’t used it in awhile… Oh right. optimistic.

Every morning I wake up, carry my sorry ass to the car, drag my feet through my classes, and come out feeling worse then that morning. I began flailing because I had nothing/no one to talk about it. But then I remembered I had you guys! Whatever friends and/or strangers who read our blog seem to be the perfect people. You guys can’t criticize me. You guys don’t have my contact information. The worst you guys can do is leave a mean little (deletable) comment.

Valentine’s day has gone and past. This particular holiday reminded me of this little sickness I found out about recently called Takosubo Cardiomyopathy. Wikipedia described it as the sudden weakening of the heart muscle due to emotional stress. I’m not much of a fan of long ass scientific names such as hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia, nor do I plan on majoring in a medical field. (Note: hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia was typed out via memory, not copy and paste from a website =P)

Basically, Takosubo Cardiomyopathy is better known as Broken Heart syndrome. Your heart can literally fail on you if you’ve recently lost someone you love. So do you find that romantic? Or sad?

I can’t believe you can literally die from a broken heart.


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This song reminded me of you

This is my winter song.

December never felt so wrong,

‘Cause you’re not where you belong:

Inside my arms.

…I still miss you. Expect a visit soon =]

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What do we owe success to?

America is the greatest engine of innovation that has ever existed, and it can’t be duplicated anytime soon, because it is the product of a multitude of factors: extreme freedom of thought, an emphasis on independent thinking, a steady immigration of new minds, a risk-taking culture with no stigma attached to trying and failing, a noncorrupt bureaucracy, and financial markets and a venture capital system that are unrivaled at taking new ideas and turning them into global products.

-Thomas Fiedman

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My ninja

Damn damn damn!

“Hurry up! Wait! FUCK! Shh!” I quickly knelt. I raised my fist in the air, making a 90 degree angle with my arm. The two people behind me also knelt. With my heart racing and my breathing fast and heavy, I slowly walked towards the corner, finger on the trigger. Slowly closed my eyes, inhaled, a long exhale… opened my eyes, and went around the corner, P90 level. No one.

“Okay, go!” I whispered and we went forward into the dark night. We ran in single file, spaced five meters apart, me in front, Xi in the middle, and Helen covering the rear. A cool ocean breeze made me shiver and the bright moon offered a surprisingly small amount of light. We stopped and knelt before another corner.

“Shit! Contact,” Xi whispered.

“Where?” I asked. I waited, but my teammate didn’t respond. “Where is he?” Nothing. “Dammit, Xi! Where–”

“Oh God…” whispered Helen.

I turned around to find my best friend pinned to a wall, dripping blood. Shit. Protruding from his legs and neck were silver shurikens. And buried in his chest was a katana. I didn’t have the guts to look at his face. He was dead.

“Um, okay. Let’s… shit. Let’s… keep going,” I whispered. I had one last fleeting glimpse of my friend and the two of us pushed on. We continued walking through the deafening silence. Theories rushed through my mind at the speed of light. What happened? Was there a reason why the assassin picked Xi and not us? Was that katana thrown or did someone get within a few feet of us to make that kill? Do people even throw katanas?!

We rounded another corner. On top of a stack of shipping containers was a silhouette. It stood there, still as a statue, with folded arms and long hair flowing in the ocean wind.

“Is that our target?” Helen whispered.

I pointed my gun at the figure. I couldn’t tell. But what if that was? What the fuck am I supposed to do!? This was a covert insertion; you can’t just yell out and ask the person whether he or she is trying to kill you… Wait… am I out of my mind? I slowly moved my trigger finger and switched to the semiautomatic setting. Better to be safe than sorry… so I was going to snipe the bitch. She was about 100 meters away… well within my effective range. Another icy breeze traveled across the landscape. With the red dot placed on the target, I exhaled and squeezed. My gun let loose a single round.

“Fuck did you see that?!” asked Helen. The silhouette vanished.

“I can’t tell if I got a hit. This is fucking insane…”

“What are we going to do?”

“We keep moving…” I murmured. “Keep two meters of spacing between us. I’ll cover the rear. Copy?” I flicked the selector switch on my gun and changed its mode to automatic.

“Copy th–” But then I heard a loud splatter as Helen suddenly gave out a sharp and painful gasp. I whirled around to find the sharp end of a katana protruding from her chest, skewering her. Helen’s limp body lifted in the air as my target raised her katana. Then with a simple horizontal swipe with her blade, my friend’s lifeless corpse was tossed aside, her firearm hitting the ground with a clatter.

My target played her evil villain role well. She stared right into my eyes, wearing a malicious smile. She didn’t utter a single word. In a swift motion, I raised my P90.  And with a flick of my target’s wrist, miniature knives appeared in her hand. She poised to throw…

Dumb bitch brought knives to a gunfight! My finger depressed the trigger and my gun raged, pouring out 5.7 x 28mm armor piercing rounds downrange at 2300 feet per second. Astonished, I lowered my gun and looked at the empty space I was firing at. I suddenly gasped as a knife painfully grazed my arm. That came from my left! I turned as another knife glanced my helmet. That came from my right! I fired a burst to the right. No one. Red began to soak my uniform from where the knife slashed my arm. Not knowing what I was supposed to do, I ran towards Helen’s body. Sure enough, her P90 laid beside her in a pool of its owner’s blood. I looked around me. No one. I bent to grab my friend’s gun.


“Fuck!” I yelled and looked frantically looked around. There was nothing. It sounded like someone gave one of those shipping containers a powerful kick. Fucking… She’s playing mind games now. I reached for Helen’s P90. It wasn’t there anymore. And neither was Helen.

…okay, it’s taking too long to keep blogging about this nightmare. I’ll do part two another time…

Filed under: General

It never ceases to amaze me

On the right hand column of this blog is a section labeled, “Number of views.” Beneath that number of views are the statistical details. Honestly, I can spend hours just looking at it. I think I will forever love Audrey for showing me this nifty application. I think it’s nothing short of spectacular how someone from Hayward or Oakland, California stumbles on this blog… followed by someone else from Perth, Australia, then followed by someone hailing from Zepce, Bosnia and Herzegovina, then followed by someone from my current hometown. Isn’t it amazing how it’s possible to communicate to strangers thousands of miles away?

Well, alright. Every two to three weeks or so on my way to or from classes, I exclaim to myself, “Holy shit! I can drive!” It’s been two years since I’ve received my California Driver’s License. The point I’m trying to make is that I’m easily amazed by the littlest things. I don’t hate that about myself; it makes it harder to take things for granted.

Do you realize that at any given time, thousands of people are celebrating their 50th anniversary? At any given time there is a drop dead gorgeous sunset, a future world leader or Nobel prize scientist learning how to count from one to ten, some hot chick out there looking for me…. =P How do these things not leave any impressions on people? Alright fine. Fucking laugh at me if you want. You will never take this away from me. I like thinking this way. I like it when the world is a big place. I like it when there is still a bit of wonder I can find in my bland and conventional existence. I don’t know why, but usually people I meet always try to rob me of this. They try to change me or “expose” me to the “real” world. Are they saying that I need to grow up? Do they just want to play a tour guide? What’s wrong with my current way of how I view the world?

Filed under: General