Bao's weblog


Meandering thoughts of a Bay Area college student… be prepared for some bipolar vocabulary

I’ve seen the future and it’s made of glass

Pretty incredible huh? =P

Only thing is I’d prefer a traditional book made of paper and a face to face chat.

Filed under: General

Mind. Blown. To bits.

It’s one of the most unnatural things I’ve ever seen. In a city… no, an entire country, where electricity is scarce and cars can’t be afforded, these robotic women (haven’t seen any men yet) direct traffic with… inhuman precision. I swear, it’s one of the most unnatural things I’ve ever seen. North Korea, a country too poor to afford traffic lights yet wealthy enough to have its own nuclear weapons program, you’ve shocked me again.

These women are N. Korea’s traffic lights. And like traffic lights, they perform the same routine over and over… even when there isn’t any traffic to direct. It’s not just for the cameras that they’re this robotic. I can’t imagine doing this for several hours a day. Do they get umbrellas? Raincoats? Anything else but the blue uniform and the high heels?

What would make life more interesting in Pyongyang is Chris Tucker directing traffic.

Filed under: General

Have you ever been this guy?

Somewhere there’s speaking, it’s already coming in
Oh and it’s rising in the back of your mind
You never could get it unless you were fed it
Now you’re here, and you don’t know why

But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen, listen and wait for
The echoes of angels who won’t return

He’s everything you want, he’s everything you need
He’s everything inside of you that you wish you could be
He says all the right things at exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you, and you don’t know why

You’re waiting for someone to put you together
You’re waiting for someone to push you away
There’s always another wound to discover
There’s always something more you wish he’d say

He’s everything you want, he’s everything you need
He’s everything inside of you that you wish you could be
He says all the right things at exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you, and you don’t know why

But you’ll just sit tight and watch it unwind
It’s only what you’re asking for
And you’ll be just fine with all of your time
It’s only what you’re waiting for

Out of the island and into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice, but you still hide away
Anger of angels who won’t return

He’s everything you want, he’s everything you need
He’s everything inside of you that you wish you could be
He says all the right things at exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you, and you don’t know why

I am everything you want, I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you that you wish you could be
I say all the right things at exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you, and I don’t know why

And I don’t know why
Why, why
I don’t know

Filed under: General

Protected: A miniature Broca Divide. (I know for sure feelings will be hurt from this post)

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Filed under: General

Okay, I’m going to go through this again I suppose

Class for me begins at 9 tomorrow, and I plan on leaving the house at 8. Damn, I must be insane for staying up, but such are the woes of an American college teenager!

Pretty long rant below. Damn, have you been warned.

For some reason, I went on Youtube to search for video footage of people celebrating Sept. 11, 2001. I was pretty confused because the numbers of videos that turned up were far fewer than what I had expected. True, it’s not like I searched really hard and since Youtube is an American website, there probably aren’t too many people around who enjoy posting this kind of stuff. I saw a promising video and clicked it. And for the first time in many, many years, I didn’t feel so alone anymore.

As touching as that video was, my thirst for anti-American sentiments and hatred went unsatiated. So I went to Google and searched, “What do people around the world think of America?” I was looking for fat, arrogant, ignorant, spoiled, Christian fundamentalists, and perhaps uneducated. Why?

I remembered meeting a foreign exchange student at my college. I asked him if he liked the United States. He said yes. Then I asked him if his friends from back home agreed.

And of course they didn’t.

“Why not?” I asked. Indeed, it was because they saw us as fat, arrogant, ignorant, uneducated, Christian fundamentalists, and uneducated (yes, I said uneducated twice). Here’s the kicker. I’m the skinniest kid you will ever see. I’m apparently considered slightly skinnier than usual in Vietnam. Yes, the third world country Vietnam. Okay, I’m a little proud/arrogant. I don’t think I’m uneducated. I’m a Christian, but not a fundamentalist. I told him all of that and playfully suggested that I should meet them.

“Oh, you don’t count!” he said.

“Really? Uh, why not?” I inquired.

“Because you’re Asian. They won’t consider you as an American,” was his retort.

We exchanged jokes and separated. I didn’t give our exchange a second thought until tonight. I’m finding it increasingly difficult to process thoughts as a hail of Wait what the fucks are distracting me. Wait, so… why the hell wouldn’t I be considered an American to his friends? I have a U.S. passport. I have a fucking U.S. flag folded neatly (and correctly) in my room, waiting for me to take it to college so I can piss off people. I sometimes even get chills listening to the national anthem. All of my friends know I’m a die-hard American.

I wonder if people realize that the face of America isn’t Caucasian anymore. America has a huge ass wealth of diversity and it’s all of us put together, with our different backgrounds, cultures, and ways of thinking, that makes the U.S. the country it is today.

Yet, doesn’t this make the amount of racism, stereotypes, and xenophobia in the U.S. incredibly ironic? Of course, living here in the Bay Area is like living in a bubble from what I’ve heard. San Jose, California holds one of the top rankings for the most ethnic cities on the international scale. I suppose I’m somewhat grateful to be shielded from words such as sand nigger or chink, saving me the trouble of telling them that I’m Vietnamese. And I’m American. But on the other hand, I kinda want to see how it feels and how I’d react. Would I laugh it off? Throw a punch? Perhaps both at once?

I wish I had some cold, hard statistics on what we Americans think of each other, of immigrants, and of the outside world. But that would be impossible right? Won’t people lie? We should get our acts together for the world to see us.

That brings me back to the question of why I want to search for the rest of the world stereotyping us Americans. Why do they hate us? In the end, every country has its share of skinny and fat people, educated and uneducated, and for the most part, a large variety of religions. Why does it have to be us who takes this kind of scorn?

My hypothesis? Foreign policy and media. Headlines I’ve read in the past fly through my mind. “Okinawan Protesters Cover New American Fence With  Anti-Base Banners.” “Muslims Celebrate 9/11.” It’s pretty interesting how our politicians acting on our behalf abroad… you know. Somehow they represent us as… uneducated? Ignorant? How? For the most part our politicians are very articulate and definitely educated and aware of the rest of the world.

And the media, of course. How come whenever our news media talk about a random country, they almost always begin with the phrase, “In a move that may affect U.S. interests…” How does that represent us?

It’s probably because we have people everywhere. We have military assets, media coverage, etc. in everywhere from Japan to Norway. Ask one of them about what they think of us and you’ll get an answer. If you ask a random American what he/she thinks of Norwegians, you might get a blank stare or maybe an apathetic Who the hell cares?

My head is spinning. Must be from the sleep deprivation OH SHIIIIT look at the fucking time!

(Note: What happened in Oslo, Norway was unfortunate, unfair, and definitely uncalled for and my heart goes out to you guys. But just to be clear, this post was published over a month before the attack occurred. It’s just a terrible coincidence. Please know that our country DOES care about what happened to the seven dead and I personally wish the families the smoothest possible recoveries. Just putting this out there before someone finds this post and leaves a mean comment before looking at the date, which is in very fine print…)

Filed under: General

Sorry for everything I’ve done.

I had a strange dream last night. I saw a myself (or probably a copy of myself) die. As he laid there on the sidewalk, in a pool of his own blood, I knelt next to him, tightly grasping his hand with both of mine’s. It wasn’t a weird situation at all; I wasn’t all freaked out that I (or my copy) was dying. I’m sure my friends would disagree as they stood around us, intently watching.

As his breathing got lighter, he whispered into my ear. And he confessed. He confessed all of the horrible things that I’ve done in the past. The perpetual torrent would’ve normally make me retreat, but his/my voice was just so heartbreaking that it kept me kneeling as my sweaty hands tightly clutched his. When he finished, tears started to stream down his face. Then he gave my signature hybrid of a scoff and a chuckle and said to me, “This… this was a good talk.”

“Chyeah,” I replied with a small laugh. “I guess it was.”

He gave a long sigh and closed his eyes. I guess he got everything off of his chest before he died with that small smile.

I know that I’m an extremely proud person. So what I’m about to do is really… humiliating for me. But… I really would like to apologize for whatever I’ve done in the past if it had caused pain or inconvenience to anyone (that I don’t hate). Edit: And I hope I will one day have the guts to say all of the other things weren’t apologies.

Now that that’s that, it’s time for me to start on my paper.


… that that’s that…. damn, it works!

Filed under: General

Filler post…

When I was little, probably around 6, I went on a hunting expedition to capture Bloody Mary. I remembered when I brought with me a rope that was probably only seven feet long and a soft baseball bat. When 11:59 p.m. came, I snuck out of my room and went into my bathroom with my hunting gear.  You see, I had a clever plan to capture TWO Bloody Mary’s. Ambitious, yes?

My bathroom had two mirrors, one each on opposite walls. If everything went according to plan, a bloody Mary will emerge from both mirrors at once, headfirst. That’s when they’ll each collide into each other and, as a result, be rendered unconscious.  That’s when I would string them up with my rope. If things went wrong, well, that’s what the baseball bat was for!

I went into my bathroom, turned off the light, said a prayer, and then did the ritual by saying her name three times while looking into the mirrors. Needless to say, nothing happened. I went back to bed as disappointed as I was relieved. Now, it’s pretty obvious that one bloody Mary would’ve raped me, let alone two (excuse the pun).

Filed under: General