Bao's weblog

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Meandering thoughts of a Bay Area college student… be prepared for some bipolar vocabulary

Finals are over, bags are packed (sorta)

Yes, yes, I know. I don’t need to be reminded that I have a personal obligation to update this blog weekly. I know I haven’t been true to that promise lately. So in order to remedy this, I’m going to be taking a two week break! 

😀

I hope you guys enjoy the winter holidays at least as much as me… I’m cautiously optimistic about mine. I’ll try to update as often as I can still, but it won’t be my fault if I can’t.

I’ll see you next year! I wouldn’t miss this blog’s birthday if I couldn’t help it!

Cheers! And happy holidays in advance.

…there’s something childish about typing this out while having a P90 airsoft gun with its sling wrapped around my neck.But you never know when the zombies will pop out. I mean, their flesh will be so decayed that a well placed BB shot can penetrate the skull RIGHT? 

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Filed under: General

Why I have everything under control

Four theatre essays due tomorrow: check.

Will be halfway through required reading for International Relations. Finals on Tuesday. Satisfactory…

Statistics final – Wednesday. Accounting final – Wednesday.

To do: gather extra credit slips for accounting. Have twenty page report ready for tomorrow – almost check.

Tuesday – IR final. Prep for stats and accounting on Wed. Find 30 minutes to do fencing written final.

Wednesday – Stats, acct, and fencing final. To do: Prep for theatre final.

All manageable hopefully.

Filed under: General

Protected: Fuck you guys.

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Filed under: General

Nothing much going on

Fall quarter is slowly winding down as slowly as the trees lose their orange leaves. The holiday break is approaching as fast a locomotive… with finals week as its cowcatcher. And as certain as the seasons, I will be making my usual crash landing in a spectacular fireball as my wrecked, mangled body bounces ungracefully past the finish line.

Yes, this is how I end most of my quarters. I lose motivation and grow lazy. My grades want to drop lower and lower and damn do they try. And I almost let them. Then it comes down to the wire where the final will make the difference between an A and a B. So, do I make a miraculous, epic landing and catch the third wire, or do I slam into the deck, collapsing the undercarriage, and end up falling into the ocean?

I’m actually playing catch up at quite a leisurely pace. I’ve had two weeks to complete three papers. With one week remaining, I have two papers left to finish. But as leisurely as the pace I’m setting, I still took a brief intermission to visit Melanie. It’s striking how every time I see her I end up seeing how depressed I really am. Friends are precious, aren’t they? And yet, somehow, I feel like they’re all slipping away one way or another.

I loathe myself and wish I could return to the way I was before; self-sufficient, not having any close relationships with anybody, and being happy with it. But I now know what I’ve been missing out on. It’s painful to lose friends. It sucks placing a holiday wreath or a bouquet (I picked the wreath because of the holiday season and also it’s a little nod to the Harry Potter series that I knew she loved). What I don’t understand is that I expect something to happen after I stand up and leave. Maybe if I turned around, I can catch her waving and laughing. I’m not trying to sound poetic or cheesy if that’s what you’re thinking, but that’s just how I feel.

Dammit Bao, the Christmas cheer is on its way. Lighten up!

Sure… but crash landing for finals takes priority. Time to try and study haha.

Filed under: General

Being Alive

I wanted to share this with you guys: a song that touched me so so deep. I had to watch a play called Company directed by Doyle. The finale was so touching that I teared up watching it. It probably won’t be as meaningful to you guys since you haven’t seen it, but I’m pretty sure you guys will understand what it’s about anyways.

The main character, Bobby, edges away from marriage, frightened as his friends push him on, hoping he hits that realization of why he really wants to be married.

This song makes me think of Melanie. I think I’ll go visit her next week.

Filed under: General