Bao's weblog


Meandering thoughts of a Bay Area college student… be prepared for some bipolar vocabulary


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Filed under: General

At a loss for words…

I no longer think I can fulfill my resolution of one blog a week. I no longer have any idea how some of my friends blog every several days. Maybe I’ll pick up the resolution once more when fall begins and my life accelerates. I don’t think I can grab some time off from blogging because I’m afraid I’ll forget it will even exist. It’s also more difficult to write this because more and more people I know have begun reading it, so it’s difficult to rant without offending them. It’s kind of sad how I’m back to where I began before I had this. I kept my feelings bottled up because I didn’t want to hurt people. Then I found this medium where I can rant and rant and not have to keep this private… it doesn’t matter to me if hundreds of people strangers read my thoughts and feelings. It’s actually quite comforting since I know that people see what I’m going to and can maybe relate. It gives me hope that people have been through my situation before and have escaped it like it never happened. This blog is very sentimental to me, so I don’t want to start all over on some obscure blog. I’ll have to see. When/if I move, there won’t be any url’s or warning. Or perhaps I run two blogs at once. I hardly think I can do that, though. I’ll have to see.


Filed under: General


I found this post from ages ago and it still made me crack a smile… =] It’s from a very old script that I made a bit less than a year ago.


When we last left, the friends have finally united after several years of seperation. Well, almost all the friends. One was simply pushed aside by Saurav’s addiction to caramel. And in only a few short minutes, one might be seperated again as a plane exploded a half a world away.

Damn, I suck at… I don’t even know what you call them. Conclusions? Briefings? Okay. This scene kicks off right afterthe last scene. I shouldn’t have ended scene there, but it got tiring, plus it made an excellent cliff hanger.

Scene 1.

Setting: CNN is blaring in the background. Starbucks employees are starting to close the cafe. Everyone’s ready to leave.

Bao: Sorry guys, I’m going back to work. I might be flying to Tokyo. (Editor’s note: ahhhhh I’m leaving you guys again =[…)

Saurav: Dude, what about dinner? You’re going to blow us off after six years of not seeing each other?

Teresa: Bao, the plane isn’t going anywhere at the moment. Will Boeing care if you’re gone another several hours?

Bao: (laughs) No. Actually, I’m not on the accident investigation board. But they–

Saurav: Shut the hell up. We’re going to eat! You know, after I get another caramel frap. (holds up empty cup)

Martin: (awestruck) Dude, it’s coffee. Not shots of alcohol.

Saurav: (in a like-it’s-the-most-obvious-thing-in-the-world tone) Dude, it’s me. Not someone else. (goes to the counter) (Note: I don’t know if Saurav is still like this, but I know he used to be OBSESSED with caramel fraps)

Teresa: Fosho.

Bao: You know, I parked a little far, so I’ll go fetch the car.

Martin: Let me go with you. Then we could ditch them for a strip joint. (He doesn’t make these kinds of jokes)

They exit.

Nam: Hey Teresa, you want to… (voice trails off because Teresa hasn’t heard him and went to talk to Saurav by the counter instead. Looks down at his shoes.) (Everyone still ignores Nam a lot, huh?)

End scene.

Scene 2.

Bao and Martin are walking across the dark parking lot. There are still many cars, but barely any people. Someone walks up to them as they’re walking.

Bao: So I was thinking. When you design my house… (HELL NO)

Martin: We talked about this so many times on AIM, but it’s still no!

Bao: Come on! Why won’t you design my house? You’re my best friend. You know… I love you.

Martin: (Smiles) Reeeaally?

(Nam, Teresa, and Saurav walks out and starts to catch up)

Bao: Holy crap. You really haven’t changed a bit. Dude… (holds out hand to stop Martin. They both stop walking. Bao squints at a person who’s walking to them) Dude, I think that kid is lost.

Martin: (frowns) Yeah. But something doesn’t feel right. (He walks to the person.) Hey kid.(softly) Come here… it’s okay, come to me… Everything’s gonna be okay.

Saurav: (to Bao) Oh my God, is Martin really going to do what I think he is?

Teresa: He wouldn’t. I’ll call the cops myself.

Bao: What? (confused, then realizes) Oh! No we think the kid is lost…

Teresa, Nam, Saurav: Ohhh.

Nam: Yeah, because we thought he was gonna–

(Teresa, Bao, Saurav all shush him. They all turn to watch Martin and the kid)

Martin: Do you need a phone?

Vikki: No, I just need some money so I can catch a bus.

Martin: Sure thing, honey. (Pulls out his wallet)

Vikki: Ohhh look. A cat! (points behind Martin)

Martin turns around and Vikki kicks him in the groin. He falls, releases a high pitched scream, and both of his hands instinctively cover the groin area. He drops the wallet in the process. Bao, Saurav, Nam, and Teresa looks at the scene with a mixed expression of horror and amusement. Vikki picks up the wallet and runs towards the street. She trips and falls onto some grass a few feet away from the street. Bao and Teresa head towards Vikki while Nam and Saurav runs to help Martin.

End scene 2.

Scene 3.

Saurav: (laughing) Dude, you just got raped!

Martin: Shut the F*** up! (knocks Saurav’s drink out of his hands)

Saurav: You b*tch…

Martin and Saurav start wrestling

Nam: (shouts) Guys, guys! Let’s not fight. Just think about it. Is this how it’s gonna be after finally seeing each other?

Saurav: (panting) Yeah, you’re right. (turns to Martin) You’re such a hypocrite man…

Martin: What!?

Saurav: You always tell us to protect our investments. (He still does after all this time) I think that kid just–

Martin: Alright alright alright.

Saurav: I mean, DUDE. She just–

Martin: Alright!! Come on, I’ll replace your drink…

(Nam laughs and the three of them walk back to Starbucks)

End scene 3.

Scene 4.

(Teresa and Bao pants as they finally reach Vikki, who is panting even harder and is in apparent pain)

Bao: Okay Vikki, just hand back the wallet…(coughs) and I won’t call the cops.

Teresa: What the hell, that’s Vikki?

Bao: You don’t recognize her?

Teresa: What is there to recognize?

Vikki: Guys?

Bao: I know there isn’t much, but you don’t recognize her voice?

Teresa: That doesn’t sound like Vikki.

Bao: Holy crap, she was your best friend.

Teresa: Was being the key word.

Vikki: Hey guys!

Bao: Okay, how about that kick?

Teresa: (hands to her hips, leaning in) What about it?

Bao: Vikki used to go to tae kwon do. That’s a classic front kick.

Teresa: (exasperated) It was a kick to the groin! So what?

Vikki: (Shouts) GUYS!

Teresa, Bao: (Shouts) WHAT!?

Vikki: (small voice) Could you help me up? I think I sprained my ankle.

End scene.


What would’ve happened is that I drive Vikki to my place so she could get cleaned up. Then she would’ve come to dinner with us with Teresa still not recognizing her. Will she ever? Sure, but when it hits her is beyond me.

This is pretty outdated because a lot of them have changed a bit and it would’ve made these scenarios a bit more implausible. But it was still really fun to make this. It’s too bad that I never finished this. There are so many friends out there that haven’t made their debut in this scene. After Vikki would’ve been Samantha, followed by Eddie and Marcus, then… who knows? Character arcs might have followed, then the resolution of the plane accident that may or may not have been a design flaw.

You guys are still my best friends and it would’ve been fun to finish this. Hmm… that’s an intriguing thought. Maybe I’ll update this sometime.

Filed under: General

Psst… wake up!

“…huh..?” groggily answered the person next to me. Teresa? Suddenly, a really bright, blinding light flashed against my eyes.

“Alright, alright, I’m up! Turn that light off please!” I hastily told the person and the LED flashlight shut off. “Damn, why are we up? It’s…” I glanced at my watch. “Fucking 2:45 in the morning.”

I was sitting on the floor with my back up against the wall. Shining the light in my eye was another girl… clutching an M4 assault rifle. Never seen her before. (And why do so many of my dreams involve firearms all of a sudden?) We were in a pretty dark room and a bit of moonlight was shining through the window. Looking around, I could see more of my friends starting to stir.

“Remember those people from last time that tried to take our building?”

“Yeah…” I suddenly did.

“Well… they’re back. This is your’s by the way,” she laid down some kind of… I want to say a block or a large brick next to me and ran out the door. Still half asleep, I lazily reached out to the dark object. It felt… familiar. And I suddenly became happy. I inspected it as I slowly woke up. Yep, what she gave me was a… P90!!!!

I waited for none of my friends. I cocked my gun, got up, and walked out the door without saying goodbye. I didn’t see any of their reactions because I never looked back. Looking outside our room I guess we must be in a tall office building in the city. More and more people emerged from their rooms clutching a large variety of guns.

Needless to say, this ended up to be a very adrenaline filled dream. It was pretty fun at first, but then it got scary, then sad… I think I’d be more comfortable if I talked about it some other time. But the beginning… this beginning… was definitely fun.

For me, the beginning of adventures and vacations are the most exciting. It’s not the actual trip to Australia or France or whatever that excites me. It’s the meeting with my friends, us driving to the airport, checking in our bags, and waiting for our flight that leaves at 2 in the morning… that’s really the most exciting part for me.

Filed under: General, While I sleep

Who are you and why do you care?

I’m writing this blog with one person in mind. I doubt she’ll know it’s about her even if she reads this.



You’re a real piece of work, you know that? Throughout high school, we must’ve spoken to each other like ten times. Before high school, we’ve met twice. Now we don’t talk at all. But still, somehow, you’re an amazing person and you care a lot. The first time we met was a blast. The second time we met we said hi for a brief moment then went off in our own directions. We had geometry and statistics together. We probably exchanged words twice. The first time you found out someone liked me, you went to her and tell her “don’t you dare break his heart.”

So if we hardly speak to each other… why? Why are you like this? I remembered you made a video for me on my birthday. The song was great, but you surrounded by these random people I’ve never seen before and they sang as well. Made it kind of awkward. Still, the thought was there. That’s what counted.

So to answer the question of “why?” The only reason why I think you care so much about so many people could be because you need people to like you. You probably hate it when people can’t stand you. That’s probably your Achille’s heel. But whether you truly like me as a person or not makes no difference. If this is who you are, that’s fine. I will look out for you and help carry the loads that burden you. Because when it boils down to it, you’re one of the nicest girls I’ve ever met. And I guess it’s human for people to want to gain acceptance.

Hmm, so many cliches in this post. But I’m happy with it.

So… cheers

Filed under: General

You know what’s not fun? AIDS

This quarter I have taken a wonderful class known as “AIDS and Society”. I must say that this class has been one of the many highlights of my college experience; it has taught me so much about the ways people blame each other and how stigma is one of the greatest killers of people in history.

In many ways, taking this class has opened my mind to the incredible complexity of the Human Immunodeficiency Virus and the vast social issues that accompanied the virus. It was so interesting to learn about how a simple virus can have so many important implications in our society through discrimination and the stigma associated with it. For some classes, I do regret choosing the course and wonder why I am still in the class. For AIDS and Society, I have never thought of that. Every day, I am immersed in a plethora of new information about how the virus affects the lives of the people infected with it and how society fails to completely eradicate the virus due to flawed cultural politics and hate. The course has opened my eyes to another world where people are dying every day from the fear and discrimination attached to the label, AIDS, and not from the virus itself. We possess in our hands the capability to hinder the progression of the virus into the final stages leading to AIDS and we have the ability to stop the transmission of the virus once and for all; yet, with all of the efforts leading up to the reduction of the viral transmissions throughout the world, we are still incapable of completely removing the virus from existence because people are too afraid to be tested due to the stigma of homosexuality or being sexually promiscuous.

I once believed that the only way to remove the virus from our communities is to work through scientific discoveries in order to completely nullify the dangers of HIV/AIDS. I now realize that it takes more than simply science to remove a virus that is so deeply entrenched in our society as well as our own biological systems. AIDS is something that has become widely feared and anything that is feared will be stigmatized and discriminated against. The deadly nature of the virus makes it very easy to exclude individuals infected with it and cast away from the rest of society. These individuals, despite the fact that they may be infected with the virus, will choose to not take any tests to confirm that for fear of being shunned and misunderstood by the rest of their own community. AIDS is something that not only destroys life, but it is something more that sucks away the foundations of security and the sense of community that the infected once had with their own families and friends. It is a lonely battle for an AIDS patient who is from a community of people who do not fully understand the virus and misinterpret the implications of the condition, AIDS.

I now know that there is a multi-faceted image of AIDS and, to completely remove its existence and the suffering it brings throughout the world, we must first attack the many faces of the virus that causes the condition. There is a biological face, just as there is a human face. There are many issues that we must confront to remove the stigma associated with the virus and the people infected with it.

I now know that we must first tackle the social issues that confronts HIV-infected individuals before we can use any science to help. We must first reduce the stigma associated with the virus and the misinformation that circulates within communities throughout the world.

I do not know what I will do with the information I have learned, but I will do something when the situation calls for it. I hope to spread the knowledge of the AIDS and its implications in society so that we all have a better understanding of the virus. We can work toward a better future where discrimination and stigma is completely removed from any object or idea and not just AIDS. I know that I will do my part in this fight, not matter how small or insignificant it may seem and, hopefully, others will join me in our struggle towards the elimination of AIDS from our bodies and from our society.


Filed under: General