Bao's weblog


Meandering thoughts of a Bay Area college student… be prepared for some bipolar vocabulary


If my group of friends had a theme song, what would it be? What would it look like? What images would be used? Who would be included? What poses would we do!?

I’m having a blast thinking of the possibilities .

…just an interesting thought!

Filed under: General

If this isn’t fail…

Then nothing is.

Pay For Parking Here

So this is what happened to me (HOLY FUCK moment) when I wanted to pay for my parking on Wednesday when I was at downtown San Jose. Hahaha.

Filed under: General


It was one of those downpours you get at dusk, only it’s like taking a warm shower because the rain wasn’t as cold. Actually, you could see just a hint of orange as the sun set behind the hills, its rays piercing the glass window in our study room. The lights were off and I was in there with one of the most gorgeous girls I’ve ever seen. Tall and slim with long black hair, it perfectly framed her face and then ran down, ending at her chest. I can’t recall ever meeting someone so angelic, and yet, somehow, it felt as if I’ve known her forever. I couldn’t help but admire and long for the gentle curves of her face and her melodic voice. We revealed and discussed our darkest secrets, our most intimate details… it felt as if she’s always been familiar with mine’s, and I with her’s, as if I’ve known before she even uttered them.. We were so comfortable with each other, and nothing else seemed to matter except that. Everything was so serious, yet so carefree.

Then we reached a break in the conversation without any awkwardness. Only the pattering rain against a window broke the serene silence. I remembered something funny and a small laugh came from me. Suddenly, without any warning, her soft lips gently grazed mine’s. I swear I could’ve seen it coming, but I was absolutely stunned. My breath vanished in an instant, suddenly sucked away. I couldn’t breathe. Did I forget how to inhale!? Her eyes grew wider, a little apprehensive probably. She must’ve known she’s crossed the threshold.

But… I gently kissed her back. The kisses that followed were so soft. They felt so infinitely delicate. And before I knew it, we fell off our chairs and somehow gently and blissfully fell; there was absolutely no impact as we hit the ground. Yes, that was the word: BLISS. Because somehow, she was the girl of my dreams. It’s impossible to explain the sheer ecstasy I felt as we laughed and kissed. It was more than just mindless making out because she was special and because I somehow knew her better than the back of my hand. I never want it to end.

The alarm rang. It was 7:15.

And in that instant, I realized that there isn’t a single girl in the world that can be perfect for me… but only at first glance. She absolutely can’t be the girl of my dreams until I know her, until I memorized her every little detail, her subtle nuances that separate her from everyone else… her personality’s fingerprints.

And as I walked to my car to go to class, I never felt a sharper contrast of melancholy and happiness all at once. I was amazingly happy because that feeling of 100% pure love and bliss is real and that’s what waits for me once I find her. But I couldn’t help but feel a painful letdown as I walked across campus, looking for that angelic face that never existed…

Filed under: General, While I sleep, ,

A shout out

to the friends I’ve made in Interpersonal Communications. For the past ten weeks all of you guys have been amongst my closest friends. Actually, I think I’ve spent the most with you guys over my other friends, so it was all inevitable anyways. Sure we’re ultimately just classmates, but I’ll miss the laughter, the group projects, and the company I’ve enjoyed with you guys. The introduction to beer pong, the exploding cars, the sushi rolls, late night meetings… SHIT IN ‘N OUT lolz. Monday for us is the final day we’ll meet, and I have a mixed feeling of eagerness and dread; eager to see you guys again, dreading that Monday will be the last day.

De Anza has a very large student body, so it makes me wonder if I’ll get to see any of you walking around. Then I wonder if I’ll have the guts to walk up to any of you and say “hi” in front of the random people that are your friends. Because let’s face it, it’s pretty doubtful we’ll keep in touch. Nevertheless, I hope we’ll have an amazing last day together and I know I’ll leave that classroom knowing there are hella nice people like you guys out there. Maybe we’ll even hang out afterwards.

Haha, anyways, it’s been a hella fun class. Low energy my ass. Looking forward to Monday and though it’s doubtful, I hope we’ll keep in touch.

Cheers! 😀

…and to everyone else. Please don’t give me hell for this post. You guys are still my best closest friends.

Filed under: General

What am I doing here? I should be studying

I recently stumbled on this beautiful song and although I cannot understand the words, I feel like I can. Isn’t music just wonderful? I have resolved that, if I can choose to be blind or deaf, I’d be blind. That’s how much I love music. It’s such an inexorable, ecstatic feeling; it’s like I can speak honestly and purely to everybody through my feelings instead of convoluted words.

Filed under: General

Some advice for all Americans

Dear wavering House Democrats,

I was pressed on all sides: by constituents opposed, my president needing a victory and Republicans promising my demise. I was in the country’s most Republican district represented by a Democrat. I had repeatedly said, “I will not be a ‘read my lips’ candidate,” when asked if I would promise not to raise taxes.

I voted my conscience, and it cost me.

I still remember how, after I voted, Bob Walker jumped up and down on the House floor, yelling “Bye-bye, Marjorie!” I thought, first, that he was probably right. Then, that I would expect better behavior from my kids, much less a member of Congress. And then, that he was a remarkable jumper.

I am your worst-case scenario. And I’d do it all again.

In recent days I have become something I never imagined: a verb. I hear that when freshmen enter Congress they are told, “We don’t want to Margolies-Mezvinsky you.” I had no idea that when I voted for the Clinton budget, I was writing the first line of my obituary.

So it is with the perspective of having spent nearly two decades living with your worst political nightmare that I urge you to vote for health-care reform this week. Here are three things to keep in mind if you fear being Margolies-Mezvinskied this fall:

— Votes like this are never a zero-sum game.

While it is easy to say my balanced-budget vote cost me reelection, that assumes the line of history that followed the bill’s passage. Had I voted against it, the bill wouldn’t have passed, the Republican opposition would have been emboldened, the Clinton presidency would have moved into a tailspin . . . and all of this could have just as easily led to my undoing.

Simply put, you could be Margolies-Mezvinskied whether you vote with or against President Obama. You will be assailed no matter how you vote this week. And this job isn’t supposed to be easy. So cast the vote that you won’t regret in 18 years.

— America is a strong country — despite what the cynics say.

Tactically speaking, not much has changed. Reconciliation is a “threat to our democracy.” Health-care reform = socialism.

But none of the dire predictions about the Clinton budget came to pass. Today, economists longingly look back to the economic growth of the 1990s, the economic policies of the Clinton administration and, indeed, to the budget that launched it.

— Your constituents are always right. Usually.

Is it possible that, while 55 percent of my reliably Republican district opposed the Clinton budget, a vote in favor of that budget was, in fact, in the best interest of my district? Can a member of the House of Representatives ever vote with a minority of her district and still be voting in the district’s best interest? Is it possible that a majority of your constituents could be — dare I say it? — wrong?

Of course — and that’s why you’re there. Otherwise, we’d vote everything by referendum.

My constituents in Montgomery County, Pa. — the ones so adamantly opposed to the legislation for which I became a cautionary tale — reaped some of the greatest benefits during the years immediately after passage.

This rule is equally applicable today. If a majority of your constituents opposed George W. Bush’s surge in Iraq because they thought it would not lead to stability, your district got it wrong. If a majority of your constituents believed that “don’t ask, don’t tell” was necessary to ensure discipline in the military, they got it wrong. So if, perhaps, a majority opposes comprehensive health-care reform, they might not be right.

The moral of my brief political story is not that casting a tough and decisive vote necessarily predicts a bad electoral outcome for you, nor that the majority of your constituents is always wrong or always right.

It’s that there are times in all our careers when we must ask ourselves why we’re here. I decided that my desire for public service at that moment was greater than my desire to guarantee continued service. Yes, there are few jobs as rewarding (mostly) as being a member of Congress, and I was let down after I lost. But I believed then and now that being able to point to something tangible that changed our country for the better was a more powerful motivator than the possible electoral repercussions.

I urge you simply to cast the vote you can be proud of next week, next year and for years to come. Given the opportunity, I wouldn’t change my vote.

Then again, what do I know? I was a lousy politician.

The writer, a Democrat from Pennsylvania, is a senior fellow at the Fels Institute of Government and is president of Women’s Campaign International.

Filed under: General

My English teacher’s theme song

Whenever Mr. Kragen walks out of his house, he blares “Ain’t No Hollaback Girl” on his speaker as he walks to the car at 6 in the morning. Either that or the Rocky and Bullwinkle theme song. Damn, his neighbors must hate him. Well, school was pretty fun today. We listened to a Shakespeare expert discuss his views on Hamlet. Even the teacher fell asleep. We all made fun of him when he woke up. Same drill again tomorrow!

Frank Soler was friendlier than ever as we discussed Newton’s method in class. Damn, and I still need to practice optimization problems for calculus.

I had the best study group I’ll ever have in my short or long living LIFE in communications class. Although a B isn’t what I was hoping for in our project, I made some really nice friends in that project group. Also, a pretty girl said I was cute =D. Then I looked her into her multi-colored eyes (brown and blue… ya I KNOW!!!). Well, I’m pretty sure she didn’t mean anything by it… but that wouldn’t stop me from taking her out for a cup of coffee =D Oh, and I totally blew people away with my leet card haxors skills. I feel so loved and fuzzy all over.

Finished a Macross Frontier marathon, going to move onto Macross Zero.

I’m playing this classical piece on the piano. A Nocturne, my very first. By Grieg… also my very first. I think it’s beautiful. It’s a nice break from all the modern mainstream stuff I’ve been working on, such as the Final Fantasy pieces.

Filed under: General

A terrible feeling

You nearly finish your 6 page essay, then your laptop overheats. Furious, you wait eight seconds, then switch it back on. You go to your desktop, and Microsoft Word has your essay on Autosave. Satisfied, you close the window, intending on taking a break before writing your conclusion. When you close it, the program prompts on whether you want it to save the document for later usage. So why the fuck did I say NO!?!! zdfskjlj dbsaflzx dfsjbglf;azbxzs#vn

…back to fucking square one I fucking guess.

Filed under: General


I can’t remember the last time I was so content. All of last week, I was thinking of nothing else but what would happen last night. You know how sometimes you look forward to something so much, giving it higher and higher expectations, until it won’t live up to it in the end? Last night, after looking forward to it for a week, failed to disappoint. =]

After meeting and eating at the Cheesecake Factory, we stopped by Walgreens for plastic forks. We grabbed some cold cake and went to a cold park on a fucking cold night, sang a second happy birthday song, and dug in. We then drove to… I don’t remember… but I do remember that body warmth and a large jacket makes the best heater =D

Thanks everyone for a good night. Hope we do it again soon…

Filed under: General