Bao's weblog

Icon

Meandering thoughts of a Bay Area college student… be prepared for some bipolar vocabulary

The Final Approach

I’m pretty sure I’ve used this personal euphemism before comparing the action of barely surviving finals to a belly landing on the runway. Before I knew it, winter quarter had taken off. I blinked once and midterm season is upon me again with finals week in tow. What. Happened.

I can see all of us slowly changing before me so quickly. Before I knew it, a fourth of my life is over. Before I will know it, I’ll probably be saying my vows. I’ll be able to (hopefully) afford my first house. I can’t believe all of this is coming in maybe four to five years from now. What will be our first housewarming party be like? I blink again and who knows what will happen?

I don’t like how I’ve been living my life lately, despite it yielding the most productive results. I currently live my life in miniature chapters. All I can do at the moment is just look forward to the next day: midterm. Then look forward to the next week: review. Then the next: finals… Blink. The next week: just gotta hand in this report to my boss. Next week: taxes. Next week: friend’s birthday.

What will happen on that fateful day when I look up and realize that I have absolutely nothing left to do but relax? I don’t know… read I guess.

But of course I can’t look this far into the future at the moment. Tomorrow In a few hours, I have to get through an accounting midterm.

Wish me luck guys.

Filed under: General

Add New Post they said.

I never really know what to write about anymore. To spend maybe two minutes every two days looking at this screen thinking what to write about is such a drag. “Add New Post?” Okay.

Honestly, I have no idea how I managed to make regular posts for such a long time when nearly each time I go and do this, I literally have nothing to write about and I just… go. Yes, I believe my vocabulary was much better back than as well. I also blame my lack of posts to one of the most challenging quarters ever. I suppose the classes weren’t as hard as they were when I was still studying aerospace, but there are higher personal standards now that I must upkeep. At the moment, tentatively speaking, I have an A in almost all of my classes and I’m definitely on track for straight A’s this quarter. But I’m always on track for straight A’s and they never really pan out.

I can already feel my laziness overwhelm any desire to begin work as I am always blogging when I SHOULD be doing something academic.

You can also blame my lack of posts on Reddit. I still visit WordPress daily to read blogs, but I think my friends’ blogs are dying as well. After this post, mine will be the only one that will remain”active.” Ha. Active. The last of a dying species.

OH, I know what I’m going to talk about. Whenever friends have known each other for such a long time, perhaps inevitably they begin to ask themselves, “Do you think you’ve changed?” For us, have we changed since high school. The answer is always yes. Personally for me, I remember being this awesome, super friendly, and naive entering high school. Still heavily influenced by my Fremont group, I entered the Evergreen District unarmed for what came ahead; my current group of friends. As much as I love them, I think that my well being would’ve been better off had I stuck to Fremont. What would that have been like? I saw them a few months earlier and I found them to be a laughably lame bunch. And yet it was so easy to imagine myself with them and having never set foot in Evergreen.

I also found out that I’ve become more bitter. Actually I’ve only suspected, but my friend’s ironclad confirmation was enough for me. I over analyze my friends’ actions, and it always leads me to believe that they really dislike me. Of course they deny this. But why isn’t that good enough for me? Why must I go on and be suspicious of the people who care about me every second of my life? I’m seriously fucked up.

So there’s my progress report. Academic life sustainable. Personal life failing. Talk to you guys later when I’ve sorted all of this out.

Filed under: General