Bao's weblog


Meandering thoughts of a Bay Area college student… be prepared for some bipolar vocabulary

Another birthday poem

Oh my God,
Oh Mon Dieu!
Another birthday poem.
Audrey! This is for you!


You’re kind and gentle
Filled with care
Filled to the brim
With enough left to share.

Because¬†seriously, you’re totally one of a kind
Whenever I’m around you, cloudy days seem to shine
There’s always an air around you
That only seems benign

Always willing to help, willing to toss a line

You totally deserve recognition, for everybody to shout
Happy Birthday Audrey! Keep growing!

You’re totally awesome. I can say this without a doubt.

(Wish I knew you better! More things to rhyme with that way.)

¬†There’s a check for a hundred thousand dollars and a free trip to your favorite destination via private jet. Enjoy!


Filed under: Birthday poems, General, , ,

Oh, the varieties!!!!!!!!!

You know how many Asian parents only want their kids to marry other Asian kids? Oh. Well if you didn’t, there’s news for you, and another thing to add on the list of what you’ve learned today. Anyways, it’s been great. Thanks to everyone that wished me a happy birthday. I really felt wanted and loved… and warmer all over then I’ve ever been in days!

We live in an international society nowadays, especially here in the mixing pot known as San Jose. And as always, there is always inter-racial marriages. Now some parents aren’t okay with that. My mom is different.¬†She had¬†always told me to marry someone based on my food preferences. If I like Japanese food, marry a nice Japanese girl so she can make you sushi every day. If you like burgers, marry a blonde chick!

Well, that reminds me of the day I ate at Tandoori Oven, a restaurant that we got lost coming to, then find out it’s right next door to Asian gourmet, this Asian restaurant we’ve been eating at for ages. All in all, Indian food is crazy good.

Daang. Well if that’s the case, people should know that after having Vietnamese food for so many days of my life, I’m sick of it and won’t marry a Viet girl. Ewwwwww.

Well basically…

I love sushi…

I think Italian food is AWESOME. Fettuccine Alfredo (Just found out Fettuccine Alfredo isn’t Italian. Thanks Valentina!)¬† and lasagna and whatnot… can’t find an Italian girl that’s NOT a jpeg file and simultaneously not wearing a bra.¬† Dammit Google! So… moving on.

French food ain’t so bad either.

And my most recent taste of Indian food was superb.

….eh, no more. Now that I look in depth of my mom’s suggestion, I feel really really weird right about now. At least I’m happy with everything now!


Filed under: General

Political status…

Today, the 20th, was the last day to register to vote in this awesome, Golden¬†state of California. And I barely made it to the post office before it closed. And I tell ya…

the hardest part was choosing the right political party. I did everything! I asked on Y!A, and even read through the longest political party platforms ever! And I guess… I’m now Democratic. It was either that or American Independent. I don’t know… I guess I was always more of a liberal type of a person and the democrats made more sense to me. That… and McCain seemed kind of harsh on the debates.

The funny part is, though the majority of the Californians are democratic, my entire family is Republican. Ferociously¬†Republican. To the bone. Like… EVERYONE. My mom’s side, dad’s side, the others in the family I don’t know about, the cousins who aren’t old enough to vote yet (you should hear them. “I’m Wepubwican.”), the older, meaner cousins, the old crazy aunts that try to steal their son’s and daughter’s votes… literally every single being of my family. All Republican. I must be insane for thinking like a Democrat in such an intolerant family. Imagine their reactions when they find out they’ve got one democrat infiltrating the family.¬†


Filed under: General, , , , ,

Bao should die.

I don’t know, but I think Bao should be killed off. Bao should be less sarcastic, less quiet. More sympathetic, nicer, courteous, and harder working. More witty.¬†Bao shouldn’t criticize others anymore, or as much. Bao should be more patriotic, but more open to foreign concepts and ideas. Bao should love God more, love his friends more, love his family more. Bao should practice abstinence over fun. Bao should focus on college more.

Ugh, they say insane people talk in third person.

Every night when I sleep, I make a gun with my fingers and shoot myself in the head. It’s become this strange habit of mine. I think it’s a mechanism my conscience has come up with. It knows it’s supposed to be dead already. It knows it’s already living on borrowed time. Sooner or later, the hammer will fall and the verdict will be permanent. I hope when it does, I’ll be happy and content. I wish I could do that now.

Nah. Just get me over with college apps.



And wow, two posts in a span of 5 minutes. I’m becoming worse then Teresa!

Filed under: General

Oh where’d that good old jingling, ring ting tingling gone?

Now I’m totally helpless, without that one selfless dong.

(I love that tune)

Whooo! Christmas is coming! The season of giving! I’m really tired of how I’m ahead of times. But that’s not what the jingle is referring to.

Last Saturday, I took the bell off my cellphone because… I admit it. It was too loud for the kind of testing atmosphere I was in. So before I left home, I took the bell off and my phone was rid of such incessant tinkling everytime I move. But I miss it.

Like a cowbell, the sweet little tinkle tells me where my phone is. If I leave it in my pocket and it’s in a basket of old clothes, I just shake them all rather then check each individual pocket. So now I have my awesome bell, sitting right next to me.

My phone is still waiting to be found.

We’ve had so many things happen in this group, with experience and whatnot. Take Saurav alone for example. With just us, he’s had his first banh bao, stepped into his first Vietnamese restaurant, ate the spiciest sauce in his life, probably had more coffee and rootbeer then ever, had his first taste of Japanese food, and ate at a buffet during Open seventh.

Myself? I’ve never sung in public, I’ve never eaten at a restaurant without a parent or relative, have never eaten anything as damn spicy as thermonuclear fries, never eaten with an Indian person outside of school, never had as much coffee, never spent as much time downtown, drove in a car without adults, or have ever eaten at a buffet during school hours. I swear, I don’t think I’ll live happily without an open seventh.

Today is a story worth telling: the day when Saurav tried wasabi with his Japanese food. We (as in the Asian people. Indian guy was clueless) all knew what was coming. We were all ready for it.

Martin: Okay Saurav. Here’s a little bit. After you put it in your mouth, breath in through your nose really hard.

Bao: Don’t forget to spread the wasabe all over your tongue.

(The smiles on Thanh’s and Teresa’s faces were to die for at this point)

Martin: Yeah. Spread it, then breathe.

Saurav: : *sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifffff Holy SHIT! What the hell!

And we watched the clueless guy’s head literally jerking upward 90 degrees before swiveling left another 90 degrees, nose cupped in hands. All in a record speed of less than a second. Not a bad lesson learned for a first time in a Japanese sushi restaurant.

Wasabi is good with moderation. Anyone who read this! I’m warning everyone who reads this post and have never had sushi before. Wasabi is good with moderation. WASABI IS GOOD WITH MODERATION.

After that, there was coffee and… intimate insinuations, only I’m just trying hard not to make it sound dirty. It was pretty good. Saurav got a venti caramel frap, Thanh got a white chocolate… thing, teresa got a green tea… thing, Martin got a pumpkin spice frap, and I forgot what I had. OH. Ice caramel macchiato. Extra caramel. We talked for about an hour before seeing Jocelyn and this guy in my art class.

Rock on guys. And I’d like to know…

What have you done that you’ve never done before in our group??

Filed under: General, , , ,

America awaits. Chapter 2

Wings fluttered and leaves fell as the birds slowly disappeared before winter began. The sky was a cloudy grey and the trees slowly grew brown and bare. Soon, the snow would fall. Andrea’s favorite season was winter. Her mother always made the most buttery croissants. Her father would start a fire in the fireplace as all of her creations will gather close, anxious for the warmth that their thin bodies can’t hold. The birds tied newspaper strips to their wings and flew through the fire, and small flames and sparks trailed as they flew in circles, diving and looping, drawing dazzling¬†patterns of falling smoke and sparks in the air–


“Andrea! Faites attention!” scolded the teacher, her voice as sharp and stinging as the sound the ruler she held emmited on her desk. The entire class stared at her.

“Je suis d√©sol√©e madame!” stuttered Andrea. A quick apology and¬†a reddening face¬†was all she could manage as her mind quickly switched gears to english. But the class was no longer focusing on pronounciation. Every single pair of eyes were still focused on her.

“As I was saying earlier,” continued Lady Penelope, still frowning,¬†“you’ve been one of the few handpicked by myself and the other english teachers to study abroad in the United States in a week.”

She blushed again. “But madame! I do not want to go to America.” How horrible! Why in the world would she want to go to the United States? It was nothing more than a nation with a failing economy, rude people, and bad schools.

“You have no choice. You are the best this class has to offer. You must¬†go,” replied Lady Penelope. “Why should you not want to go? Do you know how many of your fellow classmates would want to be in your place right now?”

It didn’t look that way. She knew most of the class and all of them would rather stay in civilization than go to the land of the obnoxious.¬†A final argument presented itself to her.

“My parents can’t afford the trip. Mon p√®re is a pilot for the French Navy and my mother runs a bakery. We have nowhere near enough euros. And,” she added, another argument coming to her, “it’s too short of a notice! Only a week to prepare?”

“Madamemoiselle, what do you mean it’s too short a notice? Didn’t you notify your parents when I informed the class on the first day of school? And this trip is sponsored by a third party organization for outstanding students. It shall be of no charge to you. All that’s required are clothes, a suitcase, and your English. AND,” said Lady Penelope with an awful finality, “I’ve already contacted your parents the night before and they wholeheartedly agree with my recommendation. Come see me after class so I can talk to you about your housing arrangements.”

Andrea dragged her feet on her way home from school. How could this happen to her? If there’s another person who wanted her place, why not just give it to them? Lousy California. Why, it didn’t even snow there. Here en France, it was beautiful, especially Christmas. Much more romantic. Her family would take a long drive to Paris and she’d see her cousins again.¬†Her sister flew home from New York.¬†There was midnight mass, the feasts, the shoes stuffed with all sorts of goodies. And the parisian snow was simply gorgeous.

Andrea reached her doorway and entered her house, fuming and longing for nothing more than a nice argument with her parents. But no. Her father was still in the Indian Ocean flying F3 Rafale M’s¬†on the Charles de Gaulle. It was the annual “Varuna” where the French flew exercises with the Indian navy. Her mother was still selling the last of her French pastries and butter to the families coming home from work.


‚ÄúAbsolutely no,‚ÄĚ said her mother in a firm tone, her voice crackling over the phone. ‚ÄúYou‚Äôll have many¬†valuable experiences in America.‚ÄĚ

“The American education system is so far behind our’s! How do you expect me to pass le bac¬†next year?” Le bac is a final exam that Europeans take to determine their careers.

“Mais, Andrea, I know you can do it. You’re a very smart girl. Now, listen. I’m making your favorite bouillabaisse broth. We can have it with bread after you change out of those jeans into something more comfortable. And you must begin packing today. You won’t have class tomorrow because you have to attend an orientation in Paris tomorrow. Non! Not another word comes out of your mouth.”

She was going to America. Whether she wanted to or not.

Filed under: General, , ,


Because I’m sick of my life. But mostly, I’m sick of myself. I don’t even know what to type anymore. I came on today to vent some feelings after venting some tears and realizing how hopeless things are for me. My personality, my attitude, so many things that I hate about myself.

I don’t want to be me anymore. This mental journey to find out who I am… Fuck it. I don’t care. I don’t want to care. Leave it alone. So much shit. Just too much. I just want to walk off into those hills and never come back, like those retarded movies with those fucked endings where the idiot walks off into the sunset.

I guess I am biased. I hate so many people and I’ve been called naive. And ultimately, I AM a horrible person. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. If I think I’m horrible, then I AM horrible, because it’s my own decision. It’s funny how such small things such as an argument on Iraq can lead to indirect insults that can sting me so badly. I hate North Koreans? I hate Mrs. Williams? FINE. YEah, I do. The Koreans only want to nuke me and Williams yelled at me and insulted me and fussed so much about things. Is it NOT OKAY for me to hate people? Please, please. Stop treating me like an ignorant six year old school child who doesn’t know anything about this world. What do you mean “dislike?”¬†Please, it’s just too much. Is my love for my country that horrible to you? Haven’t you found any patterns yet, how unfair this country is viewed? How such a horrible deal we have? NO! Just NO! And what’s worse, it seems as if you’re one of them. I’m not sure. About this, or anything regarding myself anymore.

Why are you always always trying to prove me wrong? Every little fact I dig out, you cut through. You’re so dense, so sharp! So wounding.¬†It hurts me!

You’ve hurt me so much, sliced me through the heart with words that stung. You’ve made me realize how horrible I really am, how self-centered, how biased, how conceited, and how ignorant of the world I am. I feel so retarded that I’ve tried to build up emotion to strengthen my personality. It hurts. I wish I was back the way I was before. I wish I was a hollow shell, that boulder unfeeling of cold, love, or sympathy. It’s just too painful for me. Hopeless. Utterly hopeless.

I question everything now. Perhaps I need to be away for awhile. Just a day. For some reason, it feels like the right thing to do.

And that’s what I’ll do, come Monday. I hope I’ll have figured how to restart my entire life from scratch. I don’t want to be Bao.

Goodbye for tomorrow. See you all again Sunday. I’ll feel much better then and maybe things will go back to normal.

Filed under: General

Now I know how the smart people feel

It felt like myself receiving a¬†limited¬†pass to this ultra high society club. And it came along with myself trying not to lose my straight A+’s, but failing. It’s so hard! I should’ve known my 104% in biology wouldn’t last. No matter how many perfect scores I get afterwards, that 104% isn’t going to last.

So when I got a lousy 90% on a quiz, I was so pissed off and made my neighbor pissed off at me, because she got a B and was okay with it. It’s probably the first time in my life I’ve ever been unhappy with an A-.

And then I got a B- on my AP Stats test and was so stunned, because there went my A+ and in came the B. I was so sure to get a pure A or above.¬†And French 4… damn I forgot how hard French was. So many C’s and several failing grades for a KO punch at round 1, first grading period. Maybe that’s why I felt I had to go over and beyond for my French conversation. Just threw in a ton of passe comps and imparfaits. Include as much vocabulary. Throw in a dash of humor to better class/teacher reception (okay, maybe more than a dash) and then proofread that one and a half page script for two hours for those little errors. That particular assignment was honed and specially designed for that 95+%, a special forces assignment to cover the mistakes those other standard reg assignments, while would excel in any other class, failed in French. French is that one major exception class where a kid could be happy with a C… and not be an anomaly among his colleagues. But not for me anymore!

But I need those A’s!

Filed under: General

Happy birthday Martin!

An ode to Martin

The king of tentacles and hentai finally goes to rest
Imensely satisfied at the ones he molests
It only takes a little encouragement for him to express
his inner longings, which would put anyone in distress

And I digress,

For this is not what this poem is about
What you’ve seen above is “mostly” untrue
For if you’ve¬†had seen¬†him today you’d probably shout

Happy birthday Martin! And many wishes to you!

Happy birthday!!!



Thanks Martin for an awesome party, though your dog punched a hole in my sock. Enjoy the present!


Filed under: Birthday poems, General, , ,

Un jour en France.


Kelvin : Je suis très heureux ! Nous avons reçu la chambre de luxe ! C’est une chambre      super cool !

Bao : Oui, mais la chambre premier avait la meilleure vue.

Kelvin¬†: C‚Äôest vrai, mais cette chambre a un balcon¬†! C‚Äôest la chambre la plus calme de l‚Äôh√ītel aussi.

Bao : Ouais, ouais. Tu as raison. Je me souviens. Il y avait beaucoup de voitures et de l’avion.  Ici, je vois beaucoup de chose avec le balcon. Regardez ! Une personne est tombée !

Kelvin : Oui. Il est très stupide… Mon Dieu ! Je pense qu’il est mort ! Téléphonez la police !

Bao : Tu plaisantes ! [Il regarde.] C’est vrai ! Je vais la téléphoner immédiatement. Ah Mon Dieu ! J’ai perdu mon portable ! Et mon passeport !

Kelvin : N’inquiétez pas. Je vois un docteur. Et la police est arrivée aussi.

Bao¬†: Ah, tr√®s bien, il est encore la vie. Un moment‚Ķ il a mon passeport¬†! Je vois un passeport am√©ricain¬†! Il le tient. Il est un √Ęne¬†!

Kelvin : Dépêche-toi ! Je pense qu’il va courir. Ah, trop tard.

Bao : Je suis très furieux. Je vais dire à la police ! C’est injuste.

Kelvin : Maintenant, je désire un croissant. Après ça, je pense que je vais visiter le Louvre et le Tour d’Eiffel. Quand j’étais jeune, j’ai voulu les visiter. Tu veux aller avec moi maintenant ?

Bao : Maintenant ? Tu es dingue !  J’ai besoin trouver mon passeport. Si j’avais mon passeport et de l’argent, je vais sortir avec toi. Je pense que tu es insensible.

Kelvin : Tu n’as pas faim ?

Bao : Non. Et aussi, je n’ai pas un passeport ou un portable. Mais, d’accord. Quand j’étais jeune, j’adorais les croissants. Oui, je vais faire le petit déjeuner avec toi.

Kelvin : Super ! Allons-y !

Bao : Tu es le meilleur ami de mes copains !

Kelvin : Bao, regarde ! Qu’est-ce que c’est ? Les choses sur la table.

Bao : Ah ! Tu as trouvé mon passeport. Et le portable, c’est le mien.

Kelvin : Je vois…

Bao : Tais-toi.

Kelvin¬†: J‚Äôaimais l‚Äô√©mission ¬ę¬†Justice League.¬†¬Ľ

Bao : Tu regardais trop de télévision. Moi, je lisais.

[Fade out]


And for kicks, I punched it in a computer translator… with amusing results. [Text in bracket are corrections]

Kelvin:  I am very happy!  We received the luxury room!  This is a great room cool! [This room is supercool]

Bao:  Yes, but the first room had the better view than this room.

Kelvin:  It is true, but this room has a balcony!  This is the room more calm of the hotel also. [It is the most calm]

Bao:¬† Ouais, ouais [Yeah, yeah].¬† You have reason [You’re right].¬† I remember.¬† There were a lot of cars and airplane in front of the other room.¬† Here, I see a lot of things with the balcony.¬† Look at!¬† A person fell!

Kelvin:  Yes.  It is very stupid… My God!  I think that it [he] is dead!  Telephone the police!

Bao:¬† You pleasing!¬† [You’re kidding.]¬† It is true!¬† I will telephone it [the police]¬†immediately.¬† Ah, not possible!¬† I lost my portable one [cellphone]!¬† And my passport!

Kelvin:  Do not worry.  I see a doctor.  And the police arrived also.

Bao:¬† Ah, very well, it is again life. [He’s still alive]¬† A moment‚Ķ it[he] has my passport!¬† I see an American passport!¬† It[He] holds it.¬† It is a donkey!¬† [Jackass]

Kelvin:  Dispatch you![Hurry!]  I think that it[he] will run.  Ah, too late.

Bao:  I am very furious.  I will say to the police!  It is unfair.

Kelvin:  Now, I desire a crescent [croissant].  After that, I think that I will visit the Louvre and the Tower of Eiffel.  When I was young, I wanted to visit them.  You want to go with me now?

Bao:  Now?  You are crazy!  I need to find my passport.  If I had my passport and money, I go go out with you.  I think that you are insensitive.

Kelvin:  Are you not hungry?

Bao:  No.  And also, I have not a passport or a portable one [Cellphone].  But, agreed.  When I was young, I loved the crescents [croissants].  Yes, I will do the breakfast with you.

Kelvin:  Great!  Let us go there!

Bao:  You are the better friend of my buddies!  [Best friend out of all my friends.]

Kelvin:  Bao, look at!  What THAT is what [What is that]?  The things on the table.

Bao:  Ah!  You found my passport.  And the portable one [Cellphone], this is mine.

Kelvin:  I see…

Bao:  Tais you.  [Shut up]

Kelvin:¬† I liked the transmission [TV show]¬†“Justice League.”

Bao:  You looked at too much television.  Me, I read.

Fade out.


Moral of the story? Don’t trust online translators.

Filed under: General, , , , ,