Bao's weblog


Meandering thoughts of a Bay Area college student… be prepared for some bipolar vocabulary


Okay, what the fuck?

My seven days are up and once again I’m stuck as to what I’m supposed to write about to keep up with my commitment to this blog.

Here’s something scary. Whenever you’re riding shotgun in your friend’s car, nothing is stopping you from grabbing the wheel and jerking it all the way to the left or right while you guys go down southbound 101 at 80mph. Nothing is stopping you (except perhaps money) from letting you sneak out at three in the morning, drive to San Francisco Intl., and book the next flight Lufthansa flight to Munich. And while I don’t think I’ll ever hijack my friend’s car, I’ve always wanted to travel at the spur of the moment. One day in the future, I’ll be home from work with the wife and we’ll be deciding what to cook for dinner. Out of nowhere, maybe it’ll play out like this:

“Hmm, I’m kinda in the mood for oyster.”

“Ooh, that’s a pretty good idea, but I don’t know how to prepare it.”

“Crap, me neither…”

Option 1:

“Let’s go to Barnes and Nobles and look for a hella good recipe!”

“Alright! You grab the coats, I’ll be waiting in the car!”

Option 2:

“You know where they make hella good seafood? Monterey.”

“Alright! You grab the coats, I’ll be waiting in the car.”

Option 3:

“You know where they make hella good seafood? Japan.”

“But I have work tomorrow…”

“Tomorrow’s Friday… wanna leave after we get off work tomorrow?”

“Two day vacation in Japan? Let’s do it!”

Option three will most likely never happen, because as of now I don’t know a single person who would be up for this. There’s a high probability for options one and two though. At the moment, it’s quite apparent that I value spontaneity very highly in relationships.

Hmm… option 3 never solved the problem of what to have for dinner…


Filed under: General

Harsh, harsh, harsh…

Whenever I’m in a dark mood and feeling sorry for myself, my friends IM me or talk to me. They don’t know what’s going on because I haven’t told them and probably never will. This is a recipe for disaster.

I’m not the kind of person that just instantaneously bursts with rage. I’m a really passive-aggressive person and try as much as I do to plug the holes, some of my anger manages to leak out onto our AIM conversation. A snide comment here or there sometimes manages to alienate my friends. It happens in the real world, too. Sometimes I just leave to go somewhere else without saying a single word, ignoring the “Where’s he going?” and the “Oh… bye I guess…?”

No, I’m not angry at you, you, or you. If I was angry, you wouldn’t be unsure of it; you would know. Apparently I’m pretty bad at hiding anger. “Why’s he leaving? Did we do something to piss him off?” Most likely not. Well, the chances are there, but they’re low. Sometimes, I just want to sulk by myself. Sometimes, I don’t want to be cheered up. So let me drown myself in my music, or else let me leave in peace.

Oh, I never tell anyone what’s bothering me (unless it’s on this blog) due to habit. Someone has already convinced me that talking to other people about my problems isn’t a weakness. But it’s been so long since I’ve talked to someone about a nontrivial problem that it has become my thing. I convince myself that nobody is willing to help me, that nobody has the time, or that what they say won’t help. I wonder if I say that to protect myself?

Well, I’m having a problem right now. I feel like crap. I hope it’s just my life that’s crap and that I don’t have something serious like depression, which I’m doing more research and becoming increasingly worried about. Sometimes when I’m doing alright, I’d feel very shitty in a matter of minutes. I wonder…

And yes. Terrorist attacks are definitely the worst times and places to play the Penis Game.

Filed under: General


Okay, I’m going to have to do this another way.

I’d say about half of my protected posts can be unlocked with the same passcode. I found myself constantly referring to the passcode as my “universal” password. I’ve only given that code to maybe five people, and out of that five, only one person is using it constantly. Actually, the other four have used the code maybe once. But she (yes, you!) does nothing but complain! You’re so lazy, but to your credit you’re the only one who actually reads the accessible private posts and talk to me about it. So fine, I suppose I do owe you. And fine, I’ll do it your way. And fine, you’re right.

So from now on, for future reference, all of the protected posts with the acronym UP (for universal passcode) means that the universal passcode is what must be typed in to read the post. So now you won’t have to bitch to me about how the universal passcode doesn’t work and that I’ve wasted precious seconds of your life when you could be doing… things. Not my fault that entire continents move faster than your internet.

But hey, thanks for talking with me last night. I swear you’re keeping me from losing my sanity. You’re amazing as usual. ­čśÇ You’re my ILS on a treacherous approach with terrible visibility during a thunderstorm. You’re so nerdy and plane-savvy that you probably understand what I just said. You are fucking amazing.


Oh right. I suppose you can ask me for the UP, but protected posts usually show a side of me that I’d prefer most people to not know about. So please don’t be offended if I subtly change the subject if you ask. I can’t think of too many people I’d feel comfortable giving the UP to.

Filed under: General

Protected: Only Break In Case Of Emergency

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Filed under: General

Upcoming summer project/writing prompt

I think this has been the longest streak of posts that consist of Youtube videos. This post will obviously add to the pile, and quite shamelessly I might add. Anyways, I tend to have large projects during the summer. Most are actually quite long term ones that take awhile to complete or to plan. I’ve built Howl’s Moving Castle entirely out of paper once with some friends once. Last year I planned and organized a beach trip and a water rafting trip (which, to my horror, will be a feat that I will have to repeat this summer). Countless summers have also been spent assembling plastic model planes.┬áThis year I plan on returning to the arts and crafts department.

I’ve never been a large fan of mystery novels. But there’s always something very common throughout the genre that has affected my feelings: a really dark, candlelit, and old fashioned office in a huge mansion. There would be large paintings and giant bookshelves where pulling on a book will reveal a secret passageway. Obviously, I really can’t carve out a secret chamber and a passageway inside the house,. (Whoa, there’s an idea!) at least not in the span of just one summer. However, I came up with the next best thing: a book with a secret compartment.

I plan on making two, perhaps three. The first will be identical to the book in the video. A simple, rectangular compartment will do. If I end up sucking at it, I can make another one for practice.

The final one will be very ambitious.

It will house a (airsoft) pistol. What’s cool is that this is a 1:1 replica of the Glock 26, an Austrian pistol made specifically for concealed carry. It’s the smallest pistol in the Glock family, giving it the nickname “baby Glock.” ┬áThere are several problems that I’ll have to solve right off the bat. The most obvious one is how the hell am I supposed to carve it out? I suppose I could use the┬áStyrofoam┬ámold that the gun came in as a reference. Something that also concerns me is that I might have to sand down the compartment to make it smoother, but external residue is bad for the internals of airsoft guns. Will it be clean enough?

So yeah, that’s my summer project for this year. I’ll let you know how it turns out, but in the meantime, would anybody like to join me?


Prompt: What reflections, what revelations
do your future great grandchildren evoke in you?
What would you wish to tell them about your life, your expectations, your doubts, your desires, your values, your emotions, your dreams?


┬áKEO’s goal is to launch a satellite time capsule into space around 2013-2014. This message, along with countless others, will be read 50,000 years later. It’s difficult to explain the details and technical aspects without plagiarizing, and I’m much too lazy to cite my sources properly.

You should definitely go and visit KEO if you want to learn more and/or want to leave a message for our descendants. The prompt for the message is up above. Obviously a board or a committee will pick which messages to engrave onto the satellite. Something to think about is that since this time capsule will be “buried” in space rather than on Earth, it’ll be immune to any terrestrial catastrophes. If humanity had to start over and became advanced enough to achieve space travel again, this satellite will be up there waiting for them along with its graphical instructions to decode and read the messages.

Filed under: General

Today. We celebrate. Our INDEPENDENCE DAY!

It’s been 235 years ever since our country told the British to go fuck themselves. Eleven years later, we wrote our Constitution. This makes the United States of America the longest lasting democracy ever in the history of mankind. In general, democracies are weak and short-lived, having a very poor track record. Indeed, most countries that even attempt to switch to a democracy actually fail completely, or they succeed only for a little while, ultimately leading to an authoritarian rule.

Our country as a form of democracy didn’t start off so hot either. The Articles of Confederation (precursor to the Constitution) was pathetic.

Actually, how about I save the history lesson for another post?

Not a single day has gone by when I haven’t been proud of being a U.S. citizen. All of my friends who’ve constantly dissed my country just to piss me off can all go suck it! ­čśÇ

Filed under: General