Bao's weblog


Meandering thoughts of a Bay Area college student… be prepared for some bipolar vocabulary

Whenever I hear my parents yelling at each other, both sides threatening the other with divorce papers, it breaks my heart a little. Well, okay, a lot. It makes me really sad that I’m not close to my dad. It’s hard to really talk to him a lot of times because he’s always busy working. But I hope he loves me. Whenever I sit down next to him at the sofa to watch football, we don’t really talk. I just ask him questions about the game. We hug four times a year: new years day, his birthday, my birthday, and Christmas. Maybe Thanksgiving. The other times we talk, he yells at me saying that he only seems to ever see me on the computer instead of doing homework with a pencil and paper like how he used to do homework at UC Berkeley.

I’m extremely proud of my father. I always wonder if he’s proud of me. I’m always too scared to ask. If this was a webcam chat you’d see me tearing up right now. My hands are shaking, making this post really hard to type.

When was the last time we shared jokes? Maybe over a decade ago? When I was riding my first bike?

I fucking hate this family. I hate how my sister always takes me mom’s side and tells her to get divorced with my dad like it’s a fucking joke. I hate how they bad mouth each other to me behind their backs. I hate how I was 99% certain they were getting divorced the second we came home from the cruise. Everyone else’s families seemed to be strong.

We took professional family portraits on the Sapphire Princess. Our fixed smiles and our physical proximity to each other masks the fact that I’m living with a broken family. As our family portraits along with countless others are being displayed on one of the ship’s many hallways, I looked at all the other beautiful families, wondering, almost hoping, that there are other families there that are as messed up as mine. But of course, their smiles and physical proximity doesn’t give a single hint. Why would it? Our’s doesn’t either.

I really really miss my father. Is it really such an impossible wish to fulfill to see this family happy with each other? To not be ashamed of each other?

I don’t think my dad has ever seen me cry since middle school. I sort of wish he walked in on me now and maybe he can ask me what’s wrong. I don’t want to see my family severed anymore. I didn’t realize how not okay I felt about this until I broke down earlier.

I wish there was a way for me to show my dad how much I love him. I don’t know what I’m so afraid of.

Lately, overcome by God knows what, my sister decided to give me gifts so I can give to my girlfriend. She was going to give away this white stuffed cat. My mother walked in and wouldn’t let her do it because it was the very first toy my dad ever gave her. I’ve never hated her more at this point. I hate how insensitive she is. How she tells my mom that she should get a divorce in front of my dad… on the cruise, with a smile on her face. I hate how things got so bad that we had to eat at separate tables and I had to watch my mom begin to cry while my dad and my sister silently ate on the other side of the room. I couldn’t look directly at this situation and instead I just stared through our window into the night.

For awhile, I liked to think that my friends became my real family. But only for awhile. It was insufficient. Whenever everybody left at the end of the day, there were times I would just stay in my car instead of going straight home. Who would want to go home to this? But now I think that the more time I spend away from this dysfunctional family, the worse things will get.

We’re going on another cruise this winter. I’ll be back from university. It’ll be my mother, my sister, and I along with my mom’s side of the family. My father decided he didn’t like cruises and chose to stay behind.

I don’t know. Everything’s been damn painful up to this point. I hope people see this. Maybe you can give me some advice… some support… anything. I really don’t know what to make of any of this. I’m sorry.

Filed under: General

Today I learned

It just occurred to me that I could have used TIL, but an inner conflict is currently brewing in my mind about whether or not I should give in to being a new Redditor and begin using its vernacular while giving away a piece of my own identity by sacrificing some vocabulary to affirm my membership with this website. (Is this a run on? Don’t think so…?)

But NO. My identity and my personality shall remain whole, and I shan’t use acronyms or words such as “fuckery” or TIL or whatever words the clever minds that inhabit Reddit should concoct with next! But believe me, my mind is already starting to use Reddit’s language on a daily basis. Nevertheless, my blogging skills should hopefully remain unscathed. Ah Reddit, aren’t you a blessing and a curse all rolled into one? Indeed, when I actually get an extra night to finish my accounting homework, I spend this especially rare reprieve exploring subreddits and blogging. It’ll be fine.

Ironically, the class that I was taking… “for extra credit,” my business law class, is actually the most interesting class I have and the one I look forward to the most. Though reputed as my most difficult class according to my law professor, I’m finding it to be a bundle of fun filled sprinkled with mind fuckeries. (DAMMIT!)

So today we learned about libel and slander. What interests me more is the oral side of defamation: slander. So check this out.

In order to have successfully committed slander, one must fulfill four requirements according to our legal system.

First, the sentence in question must have been stated as a fact.

Second, the statement must be false.

Third, the statement has been communicated to someone other than the person that the statement was about.

Fourth, there must be proof of injury, such as embarrassment, loss of reputation, etc.

For example, let’s assume you tell your friend:

“Bao regularly flies on combat sorties drunk.” If I do not regularly fly in my F-16C drunk, than the person who says it has committed slander because:

The statement was stated as a fact, it was false, it was communicated to somebody other than me, and it caused me injury because now the United States Air Force is after my ass and I could lose my job and my reputation has already been shot down in flames.

Now, what if you had truly believed that this statement is true? You actually truly believed that I fly combat sorties while under the influence of alcohol. In the end, it doesn’t matter. All four requirements are met whether or not you truly believed in this statement.

Now, assume this is gossip and you heard through your friend that this happened and you simply passed the word.

“Susan told me that Bao regularly flies on combat sorties drunk!”

Can I still sue you for slander?? You did state the sentence as a fact… but! The second requirement is unfulfilled! You were NOT giving out a false statement because you said “Susan told me…” if Susan really did tell you this information. Therefore, I would not be able to sue you successfully, but I can still sue Susan.

Now, what if you were a fellow pilot in my squadron and you report this to our base commander? Can I still sue you for slander?

I can’t.

The law protects you through what’s called “qualified privilege.” This is between two people, when there is legitimate need to exchange information. Good faith is required. There is a legitimate need to report this because it endangers myself, the plane, and the squadron. Even if this isn’t true, I still can’t sue you.

Likewise, if you see somebody cheating during an exam and you stop to tell the professor one on one afterwards, the person who you thought was cheating can’t sue even if what you reported was false (this is only if you’ve done so by accident.) BUT if you raise your hand hella fast during class and yell, “Hey, Susan is cheating! Everybody look!” Qualified privilege no longer applies (classroom of people > you plus professor) and if what you said was false, Susan can sue you for slander and could probably win.

Filed under: General

So it’s week four into winter quarter 2012…

And once again I’m in a tired stupor, wandering aimlessly through the crowd of students and faculty. Just making another entry to keep up, although to tell you the truth… between my business law class, accounting, and macro economy, I haven’t had as much time as I would have liked to keep this blog updated. I have tons and tons of things to say to this blog and not enough space in time to do so.

I haven’t forgotten about you! Please wait a bit longer! I swear I’ll call!

It’s been a pretty chill “beginning” of the year. A high A in my business law class (98% of first midterm fuck yes!), easily one of the most difficult classes I’m taking, keeps my head up every day. A B+/A- in maths and macro economy and a C+/B- in accounting gives me a little hope.

Everything should be fine…

Until we meet again blog (and readers… if I haven’t lost you in my long pauses between posts)


Filed under: General