Bao's weblog


Meandering thoughts of a Bay Area college student… be prepared for some bipolar vocabulary

What’s happening to me?

Oh shit.

I don’t remember the last time I’ve felt like this, but it definitely wasn’t long ago enough. I feel… like, an impending sense of doom. Like I’m literally going to die soon. My arms feel weak. I’m not feeling as if I’m getting enough air even though I’m breathing normally. I feel overwhelmed. I kind of want to break down and cry. Everything now just seems too much.

I don’t get it; this isn’t me. I never feel this way. Why can’t I deal with this right now? Here’s the kicker: I don’t even know what I’m so scared to death of. It just hit me and I suddenly felt clammy and no longer confident at anything. I’m in such a bad shape right now.

I’m supposed to be stronger than this. Why did I suddenly become reduced to such a sad person? I don’t even have the strength to feel disgusted at myself.

Filed under: General

One Response

  1. map0wt0fu says:

    hehehe, I can sort of relate to this. Sometimes it just blows on over and sometimes it sticks around like an unwanted shadow. Doing exercise, seeing friends face to face, getting sunlight, thinking positively and try to figure out what is scaring you. Though good luck with that, but then again, I’m sure you can do it.

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