Bao's weblog


Meandering thoughts of a Bay Area college student… be prepared for some bipolar vocabulary

My checklist

As I tossed and turned at 1:30 in the morning trying my hardest to fall asleep, it hurt like a bitch. I couldn’t breathe through one nostril because it was stuffed. I was coughing like crazy. And I had a pain in my chest that throbbed with each heartbeat. I started planning out my own funeral because I thought I was going to die. I had a mental guest list… obviously I can’t control that when I’m gone but I had a list of people I thought would care enough to come. Yeah, last night was extremely uncomfortable.

I reached person 42 and stopped in wonder. It’s amazing when you think about how many lives you’ve touched. Thinking through my coughs, I thought about the people that might miss me. Then I began to feel guilty. I reached my 3rd draft of my guest list. It seems like every time I start over, I have a different number of people attending. How can I leave someone out? Do I mean more to them then they mean more to me? Then I told myself to stop it; I was being disgustingly conceited.

Then I started thinking if I was qualified to reach heaven. The criteria isn’t as complicated as you’d think, yet surprisingly many people would fail. And God doesn’t grade on a curve. It was ten commandments time. I failed on the 3rd one: thou shalt not take thy Lord’s name in vain. I’ve quit saying ‘goddammit’ for one or two years now. I wonder if ‘Oh my God’ counts, but it’s usually something like “Oh my God this is awesome!”

I would also fail nine: Don’t lie. And ten: You shalt not covet.

Well… that’s a 7/10… I wonder if a C is good enough for God… Better not take any chances. I prayed that night begging him for forgiveness for all I’ve done wrong. And I would’ve paused and listened for a response, but then a small headache popped up.

Sometime between 2 or 3 I finally died a most painful death. And when I woke up at around 10, it was still painful. As I type this up at 3:52 p.m., my chest is still killing me. Ah well, I hope I get better soon.

I hate how I don’t get sick overnight like some people. I slooowly start to get sick over the span of one or two weeks. It’s annoying as hell.



Filed under: General

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: