Bao's weblog


Meandering thoughts of a Bay Area college student… be prepared for some bipolar vocabulary

Winter Quarter 2010

Pretty simple deal. I’m still waitlisted for my english class. I’m also taking math and oral communications because for some reason, Cal Poly SLO would like me to have it before I try and transfer over.

Life continues to prove me wrong over and over again. Damn, life, you’re full of surprises! Well, I met a really cute girl in my communications class. Usually when I see a cute girl in class, I’d admire her for a bit, then shove everything to the back of my mind and focus. When people see the last transition happening, it probably scares them a little. Imagine looking up and make eye contact with a guy for a split second before he puts his eyes down and acts as if nothing happened. Holy fuck, he’s gonna stalk me until I lose it! Well, okay, maybe girls don’t think that way considering I’m not one, but some people would beg to differ. Damn them…

The look then stop method wasn’t the case here, though. Since it’s a communications class, we’re supposed to, of course, communicate. Since I didn’t know a single soul in that room, I picked her to talk to. Since we talked for a bit, I finally met someone new after weeks of chilling with the same people over and over again. And since it was the second day of class and she chose to sit next to me (FUCK YES!) I’m feeling kind of elated.

I suppose I don’t really care if she doesn’t like me that way. Once again I feel like myself again after all of these weeks of breaks, among other things. Looking back up to yesterday, winter break feels a bit weird, because I wouldn’t normally act like the way I did. In another way, I’m a little bit put down. Well, most of the people I know would dismiss her as not pretty because she isn’t Asian. Come to think of it, when was the last time Kevin, Nam, or Martin found a non-Asian girl attractive? 0_0 Her hair is only semi-long as well… At the same time, I feel a little guilty and disgusted for finding someone attractive at the moment so soon.

Also, I can’t believe after four to five years of knowing each other, you guys haven’t figured me out yet. When I yell at people, I’m never really angry. When I’m actually angry, I get really quiet. (Break didn’t count, because that time I was a bit sad, sure, but I was tired as hell.) It’s normally the same with AIM. CAPS ON and constant swearing doesn’t mean I’m hopping mad! It’s throws me off because my Fremont friends know this, so when I’m talking to both of you guys, I kind of have to “split” my personality and I lose track. Maybe I alienated a lot of people because I feel like they weren’t as close as they used to be. But I don’t mind since I’m confident things will return to normal.


New Years Resolution 3: make at least one new friend starting now.


Filed under: General

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