Bao's weblog


Meandering thoughts of a Bay Area college student… be prepared for some bipolar vocabulary

Beware of the hang-over

It’s been an a-okay three weeks. And in a puff of smoke, it moves back into the past and again our future is at stake as we trudge along the wartorn path of  college classes. Beware of the fucking holiday hangover. The textbooks are bought and the car fueled for the drive to college.  I’m not looking forward to going back to school like none of the past events ever happened. I’m not looking forward to shocking my body when I suddenly have to wake up at 6 am tomorrow. SHIT I hope I don’t oversleep.

However, I am looking forward to doing something productive with my life. I’m excited to meet new people and face new challenges. Basically, I’m excited to move on. What is this balance we’re trying to achieve? We continue to move forward, yet cling to the past and hope it doesn’t move on without us. We see each other quite often and act as if it’s not out of the norm (most of us), yet six days a week we lead different lives and have different friends. We consciously make an effort to not forget each other and to somehow manage to spend the rest of our lives in close contact.

With this unspoken system we’ve unconsciously worked out, we’ve somehow eliminated the awkwardness and the silence that often comes with long awaited reunions. I guess it all works out, but maybe there’s unseen damage. After I read Martin’s post, I reflected as well. Maybe it doesn’t all seem wrong to me, but something doesn’t seem right. Seeing old friends usually once a week and having the time of our lives… what could go wrong? Maybe we haven’t found the right balance yet. That’s confusing, however, because who doesn’t enjoy seeing old friends as often as possible?

Then again, maybe Teresa’s right. Maybe it’s the other way around and we really don’t see each other enough. “I wish everyone went to Berkeley.” That would mean that despite all our efforts, our friendships are strained by the distance apart we are from each other. However, if we see each other every day, then it’ll dilute the sense of “special” that’s meant to accompany reunions (yes, along with the awkwardness)  It doesn’t necessarily mean that the bonds we’ve built are weak and will inevitably collapse. Maybe it means that what we’ve been through so far is nothing and that the worst is still on its way.

Beware of  the holiday hangover…


Filed under: General

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