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Meandering thoughts of a Bay Area college student… be prepared for some bipolar vocabulary

12/31/2009

January 1st, 2010, will be this blog’s second birthday. It seems really neat, tidy, and appropriate that my first post was on the first day of 2008. I looked at my previous posts, and I’ve got to say I’ve changed for the better, even if the current “me” is more depressed than the egghead two years ago.

***

We’re doing okay so far. I’ve ceased all contact with nearly everyone I’ve ever known. However, my closest core of friends continue to be, well, close. It seems miraculous that I still talk to people that are miles away. At the same time, it doesn’t seem like a miracle at all. I know too many people in EVHS who lose touch with everyone in high school. The impending fear of drifting apart isn’t fearful anymore. Maybe because the odds of that continue to shrink…

***

Resolutions… they get old quickly for me. The usual “aim for a 5.0 GPA” or “stop biting your nails” vows get old pretty quickly. I’ll probably think of several tomorrow anyways. However, the big picture is that 2010 will be yet another chance to start fresh. My “saved drafts” box will be cleaned and emptied. Despite what Teresa says, I don’t think these unfinished thoughts are fit for individual posts. Unlike her, I guess I’m a tad more strict when it comes to posting. Even my rants seem somehow organized. But nevertheless, below you’ll find most of my unfinished thoughts. I left out some of the more chaotic ones (about a quarter) because they just don’t make any sense, even to me. In one of them I went from bananas to life to Australia and how amazing it’d be to see bananas living like Freud… it gets complicated. But it doesn’t matter, because it’s gone. Below is the collection. Good luck if you plan on reading through it all.

***

Title: I was Harry Potter

In the late stages of REM sleep, I died. At least, according to the rest of the world. I don’t remember how I died, but it wasn’t important. I returned to Hogwarts, and only my closest friends recognized me.

Hang on let me think… it’s kinda hard as each bit is slowly going away from my memory.

I couldn’t use magic, or else people would know. Walking across the hallway… I was just another student. A tall cloaked figure walked by me.

YOU!

The figure ran and I gave chase. Somehow he was the link. I ended up following him to the Quidditch pitch and we had an epic dogfight in the air on broomsticks. I got hit with the Cruciatus curse, but I managed to launch a final purple streak of light (dunno what spell that is, since all of my curses were nonverbal) and the cloaked figure fell from the sky. I landed and ran over in a mad rage to the figure… to find out it’s a woman! And not any woman, but Ty Le, one of my classmates in English 4. She looked up at me and said, “I told you I’d appear in one of your dreams.” She smiled and I was clueless… Everything morphed into a whirlwind of colors and I found myself

on the streets of San Francisco, preparing for a Tae Kwon Do tournament. I left my uniform at home and my parents went to get it… only they never came back.

I picked up my shotgun and aimed it at one of the shooters… wtf it’s Ty again. Only she had a loaded handgun and my gun wasn’t.

“Drop that gun.”

Title: My dad’s machine…

For the past few months, my dad and his friend(s) have been doing this private project. He poured several grand into it and spent hours working on it. The final product?

A karaoke machine that’s also a movie player where you can also check your stocks, weather, etc.

0_o

Title: N/A

I walked out of a Barnes and Nobles with Kevin Hsieh, Kevin Ho, and Eddie during the evening. Spirits were high. Eddie got an autograph from a famous author at the book signing. As we walked out, I glanced at my watch.

“Frick, I missed an appointment!” And we all laughed.

“Hey, why are all the people staring in one direction?” We followed their eyes. On the far side of the street was a small body that laid awkwardly on the pavement. About ten feet away, a white van was parked hastily. Feigning ignorance, the three of us began to walk away. However, we couldn’t stop watching the scene play out. Approaching sirens in the background played a fitting accompaniment. A woman next to the body was trying to move the victim. No, that’s not how things work.

“Sorry, what?”

Before anyone knew what was happening, myself included, I ran hard towards the accident, yelling at the top of my lungs. “What the hell are you doing?! Leave her the fuck alone!” I arrived.

“What are you, nuts? I have to get her off the streeet!”

“If you move the victim, you’ll just create more damage. Here, move aside.” I placed my fingers on her neck and was amazed. She had a really strong pulse! What was next? Ah crap, was it breathing? Her chest was moving up and down. Okay, check. I looked up. “Someone called 911 right?” Yes. “Someone’s diverting traffic, right?” Yes.

Then something happened that scared the crap out of me. Well, the victim had bruises all over. She was really soft, as if she didn’t have a single bone in her body. She was hot, too, like she was running a fever. At some places, her skin was torn, but there was so little blood, despite the fact that I could see some of her muscles. Despite all of this, she sits up quickly and suddenly, like how people awake from nightmares.

“Are you alright?”

Title: Lately I’ve felt like I’ve been betrayed (Content N/A)

Title: N/A

My views of life have always been considered pessimistic amongst my friends in high school, which is, in a sense, ironic because the four years of high school have been the best four years of my emotional roller coaster life. And still, debate rages in my head whether it’s been a beneficial four years. In that time span, you tend to gain an illusion that the close knit group of friends that you’ve made in high school will always be there for you for the rest of your melancholy or euphoric future up ahead. After all, we’ve done many important, earth-shattering things together such as attending an eighteenth birthday party or starting our blogs nearly all at the same time. We might as well start picking our best man for the upcoming wedding. But after leaving for college, your illusion is shattered as your friends begin to drift away one by one like guests slowly leaving at the end of a grand party. Then, I had a moment of realization where I realized that in life, people move on… even when they consciously try not to.

Title: N/A

[This was an alternate segment of the story of our group in the future. It was scrapped. Thanh, Audrey, Samantha, and Marcus were going to make an appearance but it got too long and complicated, so they were pushed back and Vikki was chosen in the end.]

Nam, Teresa, and Martin are talking inside the Starbucks…

Nam: Oh my God Teresa, did you get taller?

Martin: My God Nam, did you get wider?

Nam: My God, Martin… I’ve missed you insulting me SO much!

Teresa: (Laughs) Hey Nam, how’ve you been?

Nam: Yeah I’ve been good. I have a girlfriend, a nice car, and I’m–

Martin: What, you have a girlfriend? Is she Korean with puffy cheeks? No wait, you have the puffy cheeks…

Nam: Anyways, it’s time for my date. Saurav and Bao take two long.

Martin: Bye Nam! Protect your–

Bao and Saurav: INVESTMENTS!!!!!!

Teresa, Nam, Martin: HEEY!

(Hugs exchanged)

Saurav: What’s this Nam? You’re gonna ditch us for a girl?

Title: Confusing Dream part 2

Vikki and I drove back to my house because both of our graduation gowns are there, which is essential for the huge high school reunion tonight.

Title: I WANT TO STAND OUT

I want to do something amazing, something crazy, so when people see me, they’ll know who I am. I want to walk down the streets with people whispering all around me, and maybe be asked for an autograph or too. I want to be able to blow them off.

Title: N/A

After awhile, blogging gets so tiring and inconvenient. Perhaps I’ll just stop blogging soon… Blogging used to be fun and exciting, now it seems like a chore. A fun chore… but a chore nontheless.

Title: Basic feeling… (Content N/A)

***

Overall, 2009 wasn’t a good year for me. The year ended with sadness and loneliness and most likely 2010 will begin with it. I hope things pick up. Actually no. I’ll pick things up myself. That’s a start. Speaking about starts, here’s new year’s resolution number one: CRY. I haven’t cried in such a long time I don’t think it’s physically possible anymore. I know people who’d be scared if they lost their ability to cry. I hope I haven’t lost mine’s.

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Filed under: General

One Response

  1. teriyakifan says:

    Well I hope 2010 treats you well =)

    Interesting tidbits by the way =P

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