Bao's weblog


Meandering thoughts of a Bay Area college student… be prepared for some bipolar vocabulary

Ever have those moments…

where you try to talk to your friends, but they won’t pick up the phone or answer your instant messages? Maybe you’re those fortunate ones who’re either very popular or have exceptionally good timing, but with me, I get those all the time. Trying to talk to five people at once, but with none responding to you… damn I must sound like those emotionally needy people. But I’m not. Because this is the one time I actYually complain about it out of countless hundreds of other times. Yeah, hundreds. You add that with an empty, quiet house, in an empty, quiet neighborhood, and you could easily feel like you’re alone in a confident and uncaring world.

I suppose it’s best to be acquainted with these feelings now. I can imagine living by myself with no one to talk to in the future. But not even that should be as painful. You’ve got work the next day and co-workers you could spill your heart and feelings to. You probably have a loving wife or husband. I don’t know, maybe it’s just an empty and endless summer I’ve got my foot stuck in…a  seemingly infinite quagmire…

With modern technology, it’s difficult to imagine that all of your friends just happen to have dead cellphones and idle computers. It’s not hard to picture your friend picking up his or her cell, seeing your number, and forward you to voicemail. It’s amazingly easy to see them in front of the computer punctuating each of their IMs with “lols” as they close your message window without a second thought.

But despite this modern technology, it’s easy to cut yourself off from the rest of the world. Cut the phone lines, turn off your cell, leave your computer in sleep mode, add an empty house and you’ve effectively isolated yourself from every person that you know. Isn’t it sad? People say that with technology, you can never escape from this world of advertising and neon lights. But it’s so easy. And they also neglect the fact that…

… sometimes, no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you want it…

…the world just refuses to see you.

refuses to let you in…


Filed under: General

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