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Meandering thoughts of a Bay Area college student… be prepared for some bipolar vocabulary

You may have noticed…

that I hardly ever talk about my family in this blog out of respect. And unfortunately, this infamous post will do just the opposite. Recalling all of this just makes me wish I hadn’t rejected Cal Poly Pomona. But now, I have to endure another two years of this. What is “this” you may ask?

“This” is all of the times my mom has a fight with my dad and expects me to pick her side. I always am in the middle and expected to pick a side. When will they get the hint that I’m on my own team? I don’t give a damn about one will say about the other.

“This” is all of the times when my studies for a 200 point test, an English project, and a French quiz are interrupted by a series of chores that can wait until tomorrow and ends up lasting for an hour and a half.

“This” is all of the times I’ve been yelled and scolded at for sleeping in the fucking afternoon. I absolutely abhor it. My friends can go home after school and close their eyes until dinner. But whenever I do it, I must be under drugs! There just has to be something wrong with me!

“This” is for all the times my mom has accused me of watching porn. Yes, mom, if you’re fucking reading this, I DO watch porn. That’s exactly why you’ve found no trace of dirty magazines lying around my room or suspicious check outs on your library account.

“This” is for chastising on my disgusting habit of putting in those ridiculous and deadly pieces of tech called earphones whenever I want to listen to my noise… for not even waiting for it to even make contact with my ear. If I ever wanted to make myself deaf (doesn’t sound too bad at the moment), believe me I’ll shoot out my brains. Why be deaf when unfeeling is better?

“This” is for the times I’ve been given dirty looks and scalding words and still am expected to give respect. Yes, my tone will still be soft. Don’t expect it to go up to my eyes. My impression of you will have dropped. It must be shocking for Asian parents when their children don’t show unwavering obedience 24/7.

“THIS” is for the up and coming divorce. Do it or don’t. Just don’t expect me to (again) pick sides. I’ll be on my own. Don’t tell me the other person is cheap. Don’t tell me the other person is expensive.

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Filed under: General

3 Responses

  1. Eddie says:

    You’ve got it rough Bao. My parents have just learned to back away from my life and that took a LONG time to sink into their heads. Actually, my dad caught onto it far faster than my mom.

    Luckily for me, I have a great deal of freedom because my parents are hardly ever home and they believe that I am old enough to make my own decisions.

    Unfortunately, my brother doesn’t get that kind of freedom. What I can get away with, he cannot. Back to my point, how your parents treat you is determined partly by the actions of the past. I’ve found that once I am caught for lying to my parents, etc..it takes a very long time for them to trust me again.

    For me to have gained my freedom, I constantly reminded them-politely-that I will give them results and to trust me. After bringing back good grades for them to enjoy viewing, they stopped asking for my grades and my overall progress in general.

    If I’ve learned anything from this experience, I’ve learned that people do not change very easily. And, very often, they are not willing to accept their own mistakes and refuse to admit that they’re wrong. Many times, both sides are wrong and just won’t admit it.

    This is a lot to type out and it seems very impersonal. If you want to talk to me, I’ll always have an open ear and plenty of advice to share with you. We could go hang out sometime before I’m gone for college :]

    Call me! 😀

  2. Audrey says:

    THIS is going home to a house without a home.

    But in America, divorce rates are at 50% now. And you’re right; they should either do it or don’t. Don’t linger because the only ones who suffer, are the ones caught in between.

    I would know.

    Hey Bao, feel better.

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