Bao's weblog


Meandering thoughts of a Bay Area college student… be prepared for some bipolar vocabulary

Don’t hold your breath…

I read this from a very nifty book. But before I explain it to you, I want you to hold your breath as you read the following paragraph. Ignore the title for now. Read it SLOOWW and savor the information.



GO!!!!! (*takes deep breath)

   The air you breathe in is currently safe right now. (I hope.) However, the air is millions of years old. Dinosaurs have breathed the air, along with prehistoric mammals and birds. It’s been bombarded by pollutants from factories and likely by military bombing tests. It’s also been through millions of human lungs dating back to prehistoric cavemen, as well as sabertooth tigers and wooly mammoths. Moving forward, the air that’s currently in your lungs have been through the impacts of the Industrial Revolution. It’s guaranteed to be breathed by dying men during bloody wars. It’s been breathed by plants and animals around the world, from huge, smelly elephants to leaping gazelles in Africa, to wild birds of paradise. And speaking of Africa, the air’s composition is guaranteed to have a piece of the world, including the sands of the Sahara and the gaseous remnants of camel farts. >.< But don’t worry, let the air has also been through fresh rains of rain forests and the clouds of the Himalayas. So just let it out and appreciate how much history and geography you’re breathing in =]

Alex Kwan, another friend of mine from Fremont, is Vincent’s cousin. He’s not as rough as most guys and he hangs out with a different group at Mission. Different from a group I’m more familiar with. During the ages of football (6th grade) I, as a wide receiver, found him slightly annoying…. which is a good indicator of a person with excellent defense. That’s saying a lot, as I was the star wide receiver in my class, catching numerous interceptions and making miraculous dives and catches. Though of course, all of that is rusty now and only a hint of skills remain…. for now. Ummm, what else to say about Alex. Hmm, not much, except he’s going to be the nicest guy you will ever meet (‘cept for me). He’s also threatening to take over my title as skinniest person of all the last time I saw him, which was half a year ago.

I have cousins in Australia, but in Vietnamese culture, they’re my aunt and uncle. I’d like to introduce Maria and Richard…. dunno their last names. They’re brother and sister with each other and they’re in college right about now. Maria is working with visual communication and I have no idea what Richard’s doing now. I haven’t talked to Richard in a while, but I periodically keep emails with Maria. The last time I saw them was before I’ve even reached the fourth grade. The last I remember of Richard was him in a cast after he broke his arm playing around on the treadmill. And Maria…. kind of bossy… kind of hated Richard. SHe had this nifty pinball game once, I wonder whether she still owns it.

Speaking of Vietnamese aunts and uncles, I have two others that I haven’t talked to in a veery long time: Jacklyn and Jenny. Jacklyn is 18, goes to Milpitas High, and is my aunt. Jenny, also my aunt, is in the 6th grade at some school. We go camping and such and we had a really fun time talking about the end of the world.

Holy fuck, Cloverfield was such a gay/kickass movie. It was gay because the characters were so freaking stupid.

For example: the damsel in distress, the one that cheated on one of the main characters, was found with a puncture wound in her apartment. There was a serrated stick at least 12 inches long, protruding from her chest. Okay, what would a serrated stick be doing in her apartment. The huge squishing sound of when they took the stick out indicates that the stick punctured her lung as well. First of all, when a victim has a puncture wound, you do NOT take it out. That’s the most retarded fucking thing you can do. Taking out the imbedded object will increase bleeding and damage tissue and muscle, increasing the odds for internal bleeding. You’re supposed to leave it in there to help stop bleeding and wrap cloth around it. They did not even consider treating for shock. (as they should’ve when they were safely far enough from the monster)

ANyways, they take it out, and she suffers from a punctured lung. And YET, she is able to run full out, scream as loud as the others, and even has the energy to perform PDA in front of countless Marines and two helicopter pilots.

Also retarded: While they’re in the electronic store watching the news while the desperate character is looking for phone batteries, we see the United States Military, losing the battle with their soldiers raped left and right by the spiders. Okay let’s think about that. Numerous, well trained men, armed to the TEETH with armor piercing bullets and M4A1 rifles, equipped with bullet resistant vests, and supported by TANKS is unable to kill one single monster, at least at first. Mean while, while cornered in a subway tunnel, 5 cornered teenagers fend off at least 3 spiders with a freaking crowbar and an axe, successfully fend off the spiders with only ONE casualty, and the one casualty only EVENTUALLY died.     W      T      F

However, it was a good movie. It had good effects, scared the crap out of countless audience members (you SO know who you are……. and we do too >]), had comical relief.. however unintentional they may be, and a kickass monster. Forget about Godzilla. America now has her own monster and she should be proud of it.


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