Bao's weblog

Icon

Meandering thoughts of a Bay Area college student… be prepared for some bipolar vocabulary

FWACK!!!!

“Life is like a rubberband.”

-Dr. Becker

Life is a rubberband. [Jesus Andrew, not the rubberband theory.]So check this out. My view of life is like a weird variation of karma. Everything that happens will stretch the rubber band. And everyone with a braincell knows what happens when you overstretch one. Imagine yourself holding a rubberband. Rubberband = your life, so imagine yourself holding your life. (What a pathetic scenario. You, looking down at your life, a dirty brown circle lying lifelessly on your palm) So every time something good happens, the rubberband will stretch. I ace an exam… (stretching) I found twenty dollars on the floor… (stretching) I kicked someone between the legs and got away with it…(…)  then kicked them again… (…..0_0) FWACK! I get hit by a meteor while in my math class. Now everybody’s rubberband is different. Eddie’s is extremely flexible it hardly snaps, only reclines. But some, such as mine, are too flexible and will break at certain times. My life is like a 2:1 ratio of good:bad. Others are hard to stretch because they’re so damn thick (like the ones people use to handcuff crabs) and so nothing good ever happens to them since it’s so hard to stretch… but nothing bad ever happens either, …like Audrey’s… if I know her at all (and I don’t). But yeah, her life seems balanced enough from my point of view. (0:0, 1:1, whatever ya know.) Everyone should find their breaking point for their rubberbands. Otherwise, bad things will happen.

I’d like to introduce one of my penpals… Kim!! Yeah, she’s from Michigan, one of those states you never hear about. Bay City Michigan to be exact. You never hear about Michigan because California and New York gets all the attention, because us Californians are actually interesting people. ^^  Despite her usual carefree nature, she’s actually the most religious person I know. Seriously, who else enjoys going to church or finds the bible the most interesting book ever? I barely read the bible. Don’t tell me how it ends… So everyone say hii Kim! [………..cricket chirping] Wow you guys are cold… *pulls out Eddie’s “automatic” machine gun. [Hiiiii, KIM!!!! We all love you!]

Okay, so how to build a fire. So yeah, you basically start out with three types of wood. The kindling, basically small twigs and such are used to start the fire. You’d want dry ones. You can tell because when you snap the good ones, it’s LOUD, and sometimes the vibration will actually hurt your fingers. You always start the fire on the kindling because they’re  the most easy to light. The second type of wood you want is the tinder. Those are also twigs, but bigger. These are less flammable, but have longevity. The final pieces of wood you’d want is the woodfuel. These are small logs, normally as big as when you make an “O” with your two hands. These are the least flammable, but when it actually does catch, it will last forever. Now, I can spend a long time discussing types of ways you can “stack” your wood, but that’ll be just a waste of time on my part. It’s basically just improvising, as long as you’re sure everything will catch fire. Normally, I put some kindling on top, then beneath it about 8 tons of tinder, and stack loads of woodfuel on the bottom. Here are the basic steps for you… in a nutshell.

1. Clear the freaking area!!! You do NOT want to start a forest fire. Make sure your fire will be in the opening, so sparks will not catch on branches. And you’d want to be able to be seen from up high right? And if available, have a bucket of water handy.

2. Make sure anything that’s flammable should be moved at least 15 feet away from ground zero.

3. Set up the fire.

4. Starting the fire.

This is what you’re all wondering about: Starting the fire. There are many things you can do. You can use a 9 volt battery with steel wool [preferrably not scrunched up into balls, make them thin]. When attached together, they will produce sparks. You can use matches. [To waterproof them, put wax on the head and scrape off right before use] Use a magnifying glass. Buy flint from any survival store, then scrape them, producing sparks. [This is the most user friendly technique, because unlike matches, you can’t run out of the flint, unless you were retarded twit enough to lose it.]

5. After you see a bit of flame [usually they start out no bigger than a candleflame] you must keep it alive. Gently and only gently blow on the flame. Fire needs oxygen, but you do not want to lose it like birthday candles.

Alternatively, if the kindling starts smoking, blow as hard as you can. Be careful not to hyperventilate as you’ll get dizzy. You’ll see the stack reacting to your blowing because every puff of air results in a brief glow from the stack.

6. Rearrange the stack as needed. Perhaps some part of the stack isn’t catching fire.

7. Sit back and enjoy. Besides a fire being a good rescue tool, it will also boost your morale and provide protection from wild animals most of the time.

Note: if you want this fire to last through the night, gather as much firewood as you think you need, then gather five times more.

Okay, that’s enough survival for now. Bye!

Advertisements

Filed under: General, , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: